¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 01.18

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2024-01-18 2439

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Can over-eating reduce stress?

Usually many people doesn't eat healthy food when they over-eating.
Mostly their eat oily food such as pizza, hamburger, and fried chicken.
Because almost healthy foods such as salads, vegetable, fruits can't win fatty foods visually and taste.
Maybe we will feel good the moment when we eating high-calorie foods.
But as a result, I think this behavior is more give the stressful.
And, if we are addicted to unhealthy food, our health will be bad and we will want only oily food.
Pleasure is good, but it's hard to escape of it.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Can over-eating reduce stress?


Usually many people doesn't eat healthy food when they over-eating.
>> Usually many people doesn't eat healthy food when they are over-eating.
Mostly their eat oily food such as pizza, hamburger, and fried chicken.
>> Most of the time, they eat oily food such as pizza, hamburger, and fried chicken.
Because almost healthy foods such as salads, vegetable, fruits can't win fatty foods visually and taste.
>> That's because most healthy food such as salads, vegetables, and fruits can't win over fatty food because they aren't visually appealing.
Maybe we will feel good the moment when we eating high-calorie foods.
>> Maybe we will feel good the moment we eat high-calorie food.
But as a result, I think this behavior is more give the stressful.
>> But as a result, I think this behavior is more stressful.
OR >> But as a result, I think this behavior gives us more stress.
And, if we are addicted to unhealthy food, our health will be bad and we will want only oily food.
>> And, if we are addicted to unhealthy food, our health will be bad and we will only crave for oily food.
Pleasure is good, but it's hard to escape of it.
>> Pleasure is good, but it's hard to escape from it.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
135670 Homework Àå*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-19 3267
135669 What is your fashion sense? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-03-19 1
135668 Who is the tallest in the world? Write something about that... Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-19 2797
135667 Imagine you could create your perfect Monday. What would it look... Ȳ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-03-19 2793
135666 Where are you going on a trip next time? Why do you want to go... Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-03-19 2973
135665 How does education help make things fair for everyone, including... Ȳ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-03-19 3181
135664 homework ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-03-19 4121
135663 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-19 1
135662 homework ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-03-19 2709
135661 What does success mean to you, and how do you plan to reach it? Ȳ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-03-19 4927
135660 What are the thing you want to do while you still can? Explain... ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-19 0
135659 Taking a nap ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-03-19 2889
135658 Why do many people from different parts of the world want to... ¿À*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-03-19 3369
135657 If you could create your perfect weekend. How would you spend... ÃÖ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-19 3173
135656 What is your favorite hobby, and why do you enjoy it? Describe... ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-03-19 2
135655 homework ä*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-19 2523
135654 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-19 2201
135653 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about \"Are you willing... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2024-03-19 0
135652 What do you typically enjoy doing on the weekends? ¹è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-19 2461
135651 Homework Ȳ*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-03-19 2249

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04