¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Inner beauty

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÓ*Áø
2024-01-22 1661

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

As I told you in class, inner beauty is more crucial than appearance.
Positive thought, warm expressions and clever wisdom is one of the factors to attract people, making them respect to others.
Even though appearance is certainly important to get good impression firstly, it¡¯s getting weaker and weaker.
When we do work and have a conversation, Inner capabilities and attitudes are necessary.
Thus, we need to be careful to retain prejudice related with appearance and judge by it.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Ms. Yu Jin! I was particularly struck by your point about  inner beauty. You beautifully conveyed how physical appearance doesn't tell the whole story about a person.Thank you for creating such a thoughtful and insightful composition.
~T. Jenna

As I told you in class, inner beauty is more crucial than appearance.
Correct, or
>> Inner beauty, as I mentioned in class, is the true foundation of lasting connections and genuine happiness, far surpassing the fleeting appeal of mere appearance.
Positive thought, warm expressions and clever wisdom is one of the factors to attract people, making them respect to others.
>>Positive thoughts, warm expressions, and clever wisdom are factors that attract people and encourage them to respect others
Even though appearance is certainly important to get good impression firstly, it¡¯s getting weaker and weaker.
>>Even though appearance is certainly important to get a good impression firstly, its impact eventually or gradually diminishes or lessens overtime.
When we do work and have a conversation, Inner capabilities and attitudes are necessary.
>>When we work and have a conversation with others, inner capabilities and attitudes are necessary.
Thus, we need to be careful to retain prejudice related with appearance and judge by it.
>>We need to be careful not to let appearance-based prejudice influence our judgments.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
133668 homework ±è*¸° ¿Ï·á 2024-01-05 1
133667 essay 1 ¼Û*½Â ¿Ï·á 2024-01-05 1935
133666 My feelings hearing \"Hi\" to someone ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-01-05 1148
133665 What would you like to know about your country? ±Ç*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-05 2
133664 Homework Àå*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-04 1673
133663 If you feel an earthquake starting what should you do or where... ±è*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-04 1654
133662 How does racism affect society? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-01-04 1
133661 What is the best transport that you have tried from another... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-01-04 2310
133660 homework 01.04 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2024-01-04 2785
133659 homework ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-01-04 1229
133658 homework ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-01-04 2
133657 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-04 2
133656 What is the most boring month for you? Why? ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-04 0
133655 What is your favorite flavor of chip? ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-04 2352
133654 What are your New Year plans? ±Ç*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-01-04 3
133653 Asking to delay the writting assignment °­*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-01-04 1
133652 Are you a good citizen? Why? ÃÖ*ÇÑ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-04 2504
133651 Special things ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-01-04 1860
133650 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-04 1762
133649 24/01/04 Home work ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-01-04 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04