¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

sns

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±Ç*Èñ
2024-01-23 1623

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

We need break away trom social media.

SNS seems to be connected each other, But in reality our life disconnect owing to sns.

It causes more negative effects to us especially young gengration.

It is making us dopamine addict.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Ms. Lily!
I would have to agree with you. Social media creates a gap between people that the other person has a higher status. 
Thank you for this1
T. Aki~

We need break away trom social media.
>>> We need to get away from social media.

SNS seems to be connected each other, But in reality our life disconnect owing to sns.
>>>SNS seems to connect people, but in reality, our life disconnects owing to SNS.

It causes more negative effects to us especially young gengration.
>>> It causes more negative effects on us, especially the young generation.

It is making us dopamine addict.
>>> It is making us addicted to dopamine.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
134080 What games do you love to play with your friends? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-01-22 2121
134079 WRITING TASK: Why do you think printed brochures are still... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-01-22 8
134078 Most Favorite thing °í*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-22 1703
134077 Save the earth ¹Ú*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-01-22 2474
134076 Who are the people you haven¡¯t seen for a while? ÃÖ*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-01-22 1
134075 What are the things that are irreplaceable in your life? ÃÖ*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-01-22 1
134074 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Parents... ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-22 1
134073 Inner beauty ÀÓ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-01-22 1678
134072 essay 8 ¼Û*½Â ¿Ï·á 2024-01-22 2998
134071 The best vacation with my friends ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-22 2370
134070 Answer of conversation question no.3. ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-01-22 1697
134069 What part of Korean tradition are you most proud of? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-01-22 2
134068 >> Is mental health more important than physical health? ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-01-21 2
134067 Its raining all day. do*eun ¿Ï·á 2024-01-21 2292
134066 Homework - \"Why is greeting important?\" ¼­*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-21 2239
134065 Today\'s homework ÀÌ*µµ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-21 1952
134064 Homework Á¤*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-21 2143
134063 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-21 666
134062 homework ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-01-20 1798
134061 homework ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-01-20 1572

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04