¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Would you rather be rich and unhappy or poor and happy?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*ÈÆ
2024-01-26 1938

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I choose that be poor and happy. Recently, I saw a lot of rich people who feel unhappy. So, they usually commit or fell into the wrong way. I think happiness is the driving force to get power to do something and also It can give a challenge to try everything. Although, we fail doing something, happiness can give the power to rise again. Despite they get lots of money, they are thinking about aren't happy, that's a big problem of the life. Money can give many chance to do but It can't give happiness. So, the poor people who feel happy has the biggest power more than rich people. Actually, the reason why do we gather the money is for be happy. Thus, I choose 'poor and happy'. (Sorry, I can't write 10 sentences...I did best one can 😢)

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hey Sarah! You did a great job! You were worried that you weren't able to make 10 sentences but you actually did, so job well done! I agree with your answer, happiness is more important than money. I', looking forward to your next writing task! Have a great weekend!^^

~~~Teacher Ryka^^


I choose that be poor and happy. 
>>> I choose to be poor and happy.

Recently, I saw a lot of rich people who feel unhappy. 
>>> Recently, I've seen a lot of rich people who are unhappy.

So, they usually commit or fell into the wrong way. 
>>> So, they usually fall on to the wrong things.

I think happiness is the driving force to get power to do something and also It can give a challenge to try everything. 
>>> I think happiness is the driving force to motivate and challenge someone to do or start something.

Although, we fail doing something, happiness can give the power to rise again. 
>>> Although we fail, happiness can motivate us to rise again.

Despite they get lots of money, they are thinking about aren't happy, that's a big problem of the life. 
>>> Despite having lots of money, they feel unhappy which is a big problem in life.

Money can give many chance to do but It can't give happiness. 
>>> Money can give you opportunities but it can't give happiness.

So, the poor people who feel happy has the biggest power more than rich people. 
>>> So, poor people who are happy have the advantage over the rich people.

Actually, the reason why do we gather the money is for be happy. 
>>> Actually, the reason why we earn money is for us to be happy.

Thus, I choose 'poor and happy'. 
>>> Thus, I choose to be "poor and happy."
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
133881 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-01-15 3220
133880 Survey ±Ç*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-15 5
133879 Letter ±Ç*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-15 2
133878 What is your opinion about \"Gender Equality\" ? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-01-14 2
133877 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-14 3549
133876 How do you adapt to changes? ±Ç*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-14 0
133875 homework ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-01-14 2085
133874 >> What\'s your outlet when you\'re angry? Mention some of your... ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-01-14 1
133873 Homework Àå*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-14 2458
133872 Truth and lies ¿°*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-14 3
133871 Working out ¿°*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-14 3
133870 Appointment ¿°*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-14 2
133869 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-14 459
133868 Which is more important in reality, inner beauty or outer beauty Á¤*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-14 3388
133867 Homework À±*¼± ¿Ï·á 2024-01-14 2665
133866 What do you like shopping? Why? ÃÖ*ÇÑ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-14 1888
133865 What movie genres do you like the most? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2024-01-13 4207
133864 Homework : unit 20 ¹Ú*³ª ¿Ï·á 2024-01-13 1767
133863 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-13 2922
133862 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-13 3235

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04