¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Talk about your Paju trip

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*Àº
2024-01-29 2646

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I left home at 7:50 but I arrived Imjingak, Paju at 2pm I was so tired when I got there. Even in there, there were so many people and it was not fun than I expected. After 2hours, I started to go home. So I was in Imjingak for 2hours and 8-9hours on the street, bus and train. I was so tired. The only thing that I liked in this trip was the museum in Imjingak, which is about people who are abducted to north korea during Korean war. My Next trip will be after I buy my car.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Seong Eun!
Whoa! I'm sorry to know that you traveled for almost 8 hours. What happened? Did you get lost? Well, there is something that I always put in my mind, "CHARGE TO EXPERIENCE". When we feel bad about something, just consider it as part of your experience and be cautious or ready next time to avoid such things from happening again. 
Thanks for sharing.
T. Aki~


I left home at 7:50 but I arrived Imjingak, Paju at 2pm I was so tired when I got there.
>>> I left home at 7:50 but I arrived at Imjingak, Paju at 2 pm I was so tired when I got there.

Even in there, there were so many people and it was not fun than I expected.
>>>  There were so many people and it was not as fun as I expected.

After 2hours, I started to go home. So I was in Imjingak for 2hours and 8-9hours on the street, bus and train.
>>> After 2 hours, I started to go home. So I was in Imjingak for 2 hours and 8-9 hours on the street, bus, and train.

I was so tired.
>>> I was exhausted

The only thing that I liked in this trip was the museum in Imjingak, which is about people who are abducted to north korea during Korean war.
>>>The only thing that I liked on this trip was the museum in Imjingak, which is about people who were abducted to North Korea during the Korean war.

My Next trip will be after I buy my car.
>>> CORRECT!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
135479 Homework ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-13 1644
135478 Homework ¹Ú*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-03-13 2545
135477 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-03-13 1765
135476 Homework Àå*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-13 2566
135475 How does social media affect teenagers\' self-esteem? Ȳ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-03-13 2854
135474 Homework ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2024-03-13 3004
135473 My body ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-03-13 2
135472 Homework ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-13 2821
135471 2023.03.13 ¼÷Á¦ ¾ç*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-03-13 1
135470 What does it mean to put effort into all we do? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-03-13 3096
135469 How does facing and overcoming fears help people grow as... Ȳ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-03-13 2891
135468 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-13 2259
135467 What would you do if someone couldn\'t understand you on the... ½Å*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-03-13 2430
135466 My country products. ÀÌ*È­ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-13 3278
135465 A bachelor ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-03-13 2511
135464 Is it healtly to eat eggs everyday? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-03-13 2064
135463 homework ÇÑ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-13 0
135462 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about \"What are the... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2024-03-13 0
135461 What health problems do you worry about most? ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-03-13 1822
135460 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-03-13 2641

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04