¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Is it necessary for people to have a hobby? Why?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: À±*ºó
2024-01-29 3978

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

We need a hobby to improve our life. I mean human is going to do something constantly to avoid being sick of life. To make life more attractive, we need to refresh every certain period of time. In addition, having a hobby gives us a way to stress out. We have to release our stresses getting from work, relationship or something. If we didn¡¯t do that, we wouldn¡¯t stand for living in hard life. So, a hobby is one of the most important thing in our life. Try anything whatever you want.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Thank you for this Yoon!

We need a hobby to improve our life. 
>>  correct
>> OR: We need a hobby to improve our lives.
I mean human is going to do something constantly to avoid being sick of life. 
>>  I mean, humans need to do something constantly to avoid being sick of life. 
To make life more attractive, we need to refresh every certain period of time. 
>>  correct
>> OR: To make life more attractive, we need to do something refreshing every certain period of time. 
>> OR: To make life more attractive, we need to keep doing something new every certain period of time. 
In addition, having a hobby gives us a way to stress out. 
>> In addition, having a hobby gives us a way to relieve/release stress.
We have to release our stresses getting from work, relationship or something.
>>  We have to release our stresses taken/accumulated from work, relationship or something.
 If we didn¡¯t do that, we wouldn¡¯t stand for living in hard life. 
>>  If we didn¡¯t do that, we wouldn¡¯t stand living a hard life.  
So, a hobby is one of the most important things in our life. 
>>  correct
Try anything, whatever you want.
>>  correct
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
135921 Someone who is up to his neck in debt ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-03-27 3136
135920 religion ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-27 1
135919 HOMEWORK ±è*Á¦ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-27 2842
135918 Do people actually know the meaning behind holiday these days? ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-27 3252
135917 . Ȳ*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-03-27 2263
135916 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about \"Have you ever... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2024-03-27 1
135915 How often do you get sick in a year? ÃÖ*ÇÑ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-27 2616
135914 Why is it important to treat others with respect? ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-03-27 2
135913 What is the importance of family gatherings? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-27 0
135912 What places do you know that are overcrowded? How often do you... ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-03-27 2063
135911 Travel back in time ¹Ú*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-03-27 2436
135910 Take Three Things To Desert Island ¹Ú*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-03-27 2399
135909 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-03-27 2278
135908 What are the pros and cons of international marriage? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2024-03-27 2077
135907 Which greeting kinds of annoys you? ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-03-27 2680
135906 Making time for my loved ones ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-03-27 2627
135905 Homework ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-03-27 5
135904 What was the most memorable advice you have received from a... ¼Û*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-27 2752
135903 HW ³ª*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-03-27 2213
135902 HOMEWORK: Describe your dream place to live. ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-03-27 2519

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04