¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Is it necessary for people to have a hobby? Why?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: À±*ºó
2024-01-29 3814

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

We need a hobby to improve our life. I mean human is going to do something constantly to avoid being sick of life. To make life more attractive, we need to refresh every certain period of time. In addition, having a hobby gives us a way to stress out. We have to release our stresses getting from work, relationship or something. If we didn¡¯t do that, we wouldn¡¯t stand for living in hard life. So, a hobby is one of the most important thing in our life. Try anything whatever you want.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Thank you for this Yoon!

We need a hobby to improve our life. 
>>  correct
>> OR: We need a hobby to improve our lives.
I mean human is going to do something constantly to avoid being sick of life. 
>>  I mean, humans need to do something constantly to avoid being sick of life. 
To make life more attractive, we need to refresh every certain period of time. 
>>  correct
>> OR: To make life more attractive, we need to do something refreshing every certain period of time. 
>> OR: To make life more attractive, we need to keep doing something new every certain period of time. 
In addition, having a hobby gives us a way to stress out. 
>> In addition, having a hobby gives us a way to relieve/release stress.
We have to release our stresses getting from work, relationship or something.
>>  We have to release our stresses taken/accumulated from work, relationship or something.
 If we didn¡¯t do that, we wouldn¡¯t stand for living in hard life. 
>>  If we didn¡¯t do that, we wouldn¡¯t stand living a hard life.  
So, a hobby is one of the most important things in our life. 
>>  correct
Try anything, whatever you want.
>>  correct
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
135392 My Three Thing To Achieve ¹Ú*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-03-11 3704
135391 >> How does the weather affect your mood? ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-03-11 2734
135390 >> What are your thoughts on your school class schedule? ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-03-11 0
135389 What musical insterments do you play? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-03-11 2776
135388 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-03-11 1
135387 How do you feel if you forget your mobile phone and leave it... ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-11 3339
135386 pregnancy ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-11 1
135385 What are the things you provide for your loved ones? ±Ç*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-11 2
135384 HOMEWORK FOR 03.11.2024 WRITING TASK: How do you calm down when... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-03-11 5
135383 weekend ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-11 2314
135382 If I had incredible wealth ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-11 3142
135381 Why is English fluency significant for you? ÀÓ*¼º ¿Ï·á 2024-03-10 1
135380 Do you believe that first impression lasts? Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-10 3
135379 Homework ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-03-10 2
135378 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-03-10 4
135377 homework ¹Ú*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-03-10 3327
135376 My opinion that governments should encourage pubilc trasportation ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-03-10 3906
135375 Page.17 ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-03-10 5
135374 In your opinion, what would schools be like in the future? ¿À*¼Ò ¿Ï·á 2024-03-10 7
135373 Write about the longest bridge in world and what do you think... ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-10 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04