¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework (2024-02-02)

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÓ*¼±
2024-02-02 2051

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

HOMEWORK FOR TODAY:
ESSAY: Extreme sports such as skydiving and rock climbing are very dangerous and should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

I agree that extreme sports such as skydiving and rock climbing are very dangerous, but I disagree that they should be banned.
There are lots of various activities or sports that people like.
People have the right to enjoy their favorite sports.
However, they must do with protective equipments and there must be no impact on other people or environments.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there Ms. Sunny~!^^ Thank you for doing your first homework. Enjoy writing as you reach your goals as far as improving your English skills are concerned. Good job for your first homework. Have a great weekend! 
>>> TEACHER GEMMA 
I agree that extreme sports such as skydiving and rock climbing are very dangerous, but I disagree that they should be banned.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
There are lots of various activities or sports that people like.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
People have the right to enjoy their favorite sports.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
However, they must do with protective equipment and there must be no impact on other people or environments.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
134640 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-02-13 267
134639 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-13 2
134638 Why living forever is not so good ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-02-13 0
134637 Do you like meeting new people? ¼­*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-13 1950
134636 If you were asked to work in the weekend with a good... ¿À*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-02-13 2569
134635 What are your top priorities in looking for a job? (ex: salary,... õ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-02-13 2140
134634 Why is it beneficial to take part in school organizations/clubs? õ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-02-13 2847
134633 Homework ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-02-13 2
134632 HOMEWORK Ȳ*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-02-13 2137
134631 Control And Hide My Anger ¹Ú*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-02-13 2555
134630 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-02-13 2386
134629 What do you like eating while watching a movie? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-02-13 3710
134628 Homework À±*¼± ¿Ï·á 2024-02-13 2379
134627 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-02-13 0
134626 About meeting new people °í*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-13 2414
134625 homework 2024-02-13 ÀÌ*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-02-13 1
134624 Would you rather always be 10 minutes late or always be 20... ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-13 0
134623 homework01 È£*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-02-13 2
134622 homework ±è*¸° ¿Ï·á 2024-02-13 1
134621 What kind of flowers represent love in your country ? ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-13 2068

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04