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My bad experience while traveling

작성자: 김*민
2024-02-13 2141

회원님의 영작문

Last summer I visited France with my friend for 9 days.
We planned to stay in Nice while 2 days, and we have to came back to Paris at night.

The first trouble occured. It is that the plane was delayed almost 2 hours.
We got a little stress, but we tried to keep our tempers.

However, the second trouble occurred when we arrived at Paris.
My friend wanted to take a bus, but I insisted the way to take a train.
My insistence almost destroyed our friendship because we took a more time to come back to out hotel than taking a bus.
At that situation, I closed my mouth because I didn't want to fight my friend.

This happening was over after I apologized about my wrong choice.
And then, we had a good times while in France.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Thank you for sharing this experience, Min. ^^ What matters is that you and your friend enjoyed France. ^^
-Khai
Last summer I visited France with my friend for 9 days.
>> CORRECT
We planned to stay in Nice while 2 days, and we have to came back to Paris at night.

>> We planned to stay in Nice for 2 days, and we have to come back to Paris at night.

The first trouble occured. 

>> The first trouble occurred.

It is that the plane was delayed almost 2 hours.

>> The plane was delayed for almost 2 hours.

We got a little stress, but we tried to keep our tempers.

>> We were a bit stressed, but we tried to keep our tempers.

However, the second trouble occurred when we arrived at Paris.

>> The second trouble occurred when we arrived in Paris.

My friend wanted to take a bus, but I insisted the way to take a train.
>> My friend wanted to take a bus, but I insisted on taking a train.
My insistence almost destroyed our friendship because we took a more time to come back to out hotel than taking a bus.
>> My  insistence almost destroyed our friendship because we took more time to come back to our hotel compared to when we took a bus.
At that situation, I closed my mouth because I didn't want to fight my friend.

>> In that situation, I closed my mouth because I didn't want to fight my friend.

This happening was over after I apologized about my wrong choice.
>> After that, I apologized for my wrong choice.
And then, we had a good times while in France.
>> And then, we had a good time while in France.
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