¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 02.21

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2024-02-21 1929

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What do you do to relax after working hard or experiencing other challenging or stressful situations?

Some days, we may be tired from using all our energy or we want to rest because we are received stress out.
On days like this, I just want and think to come back home and rest as soon as possible.
If I has a lot of tired or stress, if I do other things, I feel like it's not going as well as on the other days.
Even, some people have sensitive emotional reactions on days like this.
For example, they are easily annoyed by trivial things.
So in my case after all my schedules, I don't stay outside, and I come back home straight away.
And I go into my room and take a nap or recharge my energy with minimal body movement.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What do you do to relax after working hard or experiencing other challenging or stressful situations?


Some days, we may be tired from using all our energy or we want to rest because we are received stress out.
>> Some days, we may be tired from using all our energy, or we want to rest because we receive a lot of stress.
On days like this, I just want and think to come back home and rest as soon as possible.
>> CORRECT!
If I has a lot of tired or stress, if I do other things, I feel like it's not going as well as on the other days.
>> If I feel too tired or stressed, if I do other things, I feel like it's not going well as on the other days.
Even so, some people have sensitive emotional reactions on days like this.
>> CORRECT!
For example, they are easily annoyed by trivial things.
>> CORRECT!
OR >> For example, they easily feel annoyed by trivial things.
So in my case after all my schedules, I don't stay outside, and I come back home straight away.
>> So in my case after all my schedules, I don't stay outside, and I come back home straight.
OR >> So in my case after all my schedules, I don't stay outside, and I come back home right away.
And I go into my room and take a nap or recharge my energy with minimal body movement.>> CORRECT!

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
135483 homework À¯*¸° ¿Ï·á 2024-03-13 3305
135482 question ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-13 2444
135481 homework ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2024-03-13 3195
135480 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-13 1
135479 Homework ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-13 1959
135478 Homework ¹Ú*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-03-13 2996
135477 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-03-13 2100
135476 Homework Àå*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-13 3115
135475 How does social media affect teenagers\' self-esteem? Ȳ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-03-13 3230
135474 Homework ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2024-03-13 3290
135473 My body ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-03-13 2
135472 Homework ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-13 3237
135471 2023.03.13 ¼÷Á¦ ¾ç*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-03-13 1
135470 What does it mean to put effort into all we do? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-03-13 3520
135469 How does facing and overcoming fears help people grow as... Ȳ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-03-13 3243
135468 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-13 2620
135467 What would you do if someone couldn\'t understand you on the... ½Å*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-03-13 2641
135466 My country products. ÀÌ*È­ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-13 3839
135465 A bachelor ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-03-13 2900
135464 Is it healtly to eat eggs everyday? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-03-13 2366

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04