¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Today\'s homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*µµ
2024-03-03 1605

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

ESSAY: Some people think it is a better way to leave their home country to improve their work and living opportunities, while others think staying in their own country is a better choice. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

I think that leaving home country is good for me. But can have a clear goal in mind.
If they don't have any mind which upgrade their skill, they will be failed at other country.
And it is important to choose countries too.
For examples, i want to increase our abilities, i can't go good countries that have good people, good air, and traffic.
This situation is very wrong selection.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Lee!^^ It's good to check your essay again! Thank you because you always remember to do your homework. Keep it up! Enjoy your the new semester too!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
I think leaving my home country is good for me. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
But can have a clear goal in mind.
>>> But [ I should ] have a clear goal in mind.
If they don't have any mind which upgrade their skill, they will be failed at other country.
>>> If they [ won't think of developing ] their skill, they will [ fail ] [ in another ] country.
And it is important to choose countries too.
>>> And it is important to [ consider which country to go to.]
For examples, i want to increase our abilities, i can't go good countries that have good people, good air, and traffic.
>>> For examples, [ if I won't develop my abilities, ] I can't go to good countries that have good people, good air, and traffic.
This situation is very wrong selection.
>>> This situation requires a wise decision.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
135710 homework 03.20 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2024-03-20 1990
135709 Homework Àå*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-20 1339
135708 Homework ¹Ú*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-03-20 1488
135707 Dream ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-03-20 2472
135706 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-20 2
135705 2023.03.20 ¼÷Á¦ ¾ç*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-03-20 1
135704 homework ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-03-20 2031
135703 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-20 1605
135702 The scariest moment in my life. ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2024-03-20 2065
135701 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-20 0
135700 What does success mean to you, and how do you plan to reach it? ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-03-20 2393
135699 first day is no homework? ¹Ú*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-03-20 2275
135698 What are some differences you notice between the food in your... ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-03-20 3
135697 HOMEWORK: [Grammar] What three (3) adjectives would you use to... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2024-03-20 0
135696 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-03-20 1
135695 Is it important to know a lot of information in today¡¯s world? ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-03-20 2054
135694 How do you see yourself in 5 years? ¼Û*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-20 2142
135693 Which is worse for your health, smoking every day or drinking... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2024-03-20 2788
135692 Three things that I bought ¹Ú*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-03-20 1784
135691 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-03-20 2478

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04