¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 03.04

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2024-03-04 2161

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
How do you manage your time between work and family?

These days, there are many people has a requirement when they get a job or look for a job a company in South Korea.
It's a work-life balance.
This word mean that many works require individual hobbies and rest do not focus on work at the company.
And, according to a recent survey, many people want personal rest more than work time at their company.
But the reality it's not easy to do what we want.
Actually, everyone wants to work less and earn a lot of money.
But the reality is that if we work for a small time, our salary will be reduce.
I'm also important to, time with family and hobbies.
However, if I don't have a money, I will miss the chance when I want to do something.
So, for that the chance, the balance of our walk-life balance will be shifted to one side.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
How do you manage your time between work and family?


These days, there are many people has a requirement when they get a job or look for a job a company in South Korea.
>> These days, there are many people who have a requirement when they get a job or look for a job in a company in South Korea.
It's a work-life balance.
>> CORRECT!
This word mean that many works require individual hobbies and rest do not focus on work at the company.
>> This word means that many jobs require individual hobbies and the rest does not focus on the tasks in the company.
And, according to a recent survey, many people want personal rest more than work time in their company.
>> CORRECT!
But the reality it's not easy to do what we want.
>> But in reality, it's not easy to do what we want.
Actually, everyone wants to work less and earn a lot of money.
>> CORRECT!
But the reality is that if we work for a small time, our salary will be reduce.
>> But the reality is that if we work for a short amount of time, our salary will be reduced.
I'm also important to, time with family and hobbies.
>> It's also important to spend time with my family and for my hobbies.
However, if I don't have a money, I will miss the chance when I want to do something.
>> CORRECT!
So, for that the chance, the balance of our walk-life balance will be shifted to one side.
>> So, for that chance, our work-life balance will be shifted to one side.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
134785 Homework À±*¼± ¿Ï·á 2024-02-19 1654
134784 What other activies can you do in the amusement park? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-02-19 2403
134783 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-02-19 0
134782 Describe a book, movie, or piece of music that has had a... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-19 2915
134781 Favorite season °í*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-19 1577
134780 Cat ¹Ú*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-02-19 1882
134779 What was the last program you watched on TV? ¼­*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-19 3070
134778 WRITING TASK: What opportunity in life do you want to accept... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-02-19 3
134777 Homework Àå*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-19 1560
134776 homework 2024-02-19 ÀÌ*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-02-19 1
134775 Homework Àå*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-19 2016
134774 How do you solve conflicts in working with others? õ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-02-19 2028
134773 Would you rather have telekinesis (the ability to move things... ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-19 0
134772 See-through ÀÓ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-02-19 2615
134771 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-02-19 2
134770 What makes you proud? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-19 0
134769 What are the benefits of having just a few close friends ? How... ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-19 2299
134768 What kind of instructors are more preferable ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-19 2546
134767 Homework ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-02-18 3
134766 What will you do if someone eavesdrops on your conversation with... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2024-02-18 1600

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04