¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2024-03-05 1758

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What are some popular diets or eating trends in your country? Do you think they are effective?

Until recently, "ketogenic diet" are very trends for lose weight.
But, I think this kinds of diets, it's something wrong in Korea compared to other countries.
Originally, ketogeni-dieter eat salad, eggs, and small peace of meat.
However, in the case of Koreans who did ketogeni, they didn't eat carbohydrates such as rice, noodles, and bread.
But, they ate mainly meat such as pork belly, chicken, and fried food.
So, as a result I hear no one succese stories.
Actually, this diet trend was created by celebrities.
And the reason why so many people go on a lose weight or diet is influenced by the media.
Obesity is a problem, but excessive underweithgt is also problem.
Ths problem is many students and teenagers want to have an idol's body.
This is why teenagers think that celebrities fashion and body shape are standard of beauty.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What are some popular diets or eating trends in your country? Do you think they are effective?


Until recently, "ketogenic diet" are very trends for lose weight.
>> Recently, "ketogenic diet" was quite a trend for losing weight.
But, I think this kinds of diets, it's something wrong in Korea compared to other countries.
>> But, I think there's something wrong with this kind of diet in Korea compared to other countries.
Originally, ketogeni-dieter eat salad, eggs, and small peace of meat.
>> Originally, ketogenic-dieters eat salads, eggs, and small pieces of meat.
However, in the case of Koreans who did ketogeni, they didn't eat carbohydrates such as rice, noodles, and bread.
>> However, in the case of Koreans who did ketogenic diet, they didn't eat carbohydrates such as rice, noodles, and bread.
But, they ate mainly meat such as pork belly, chicken, and fried food.
>> But, they mainly eat meat such as pork belly, chicken, and fried food.
So, as a result I hear no one succese stories.
>> So, as a result, I heard no one who had successful stories.
Actually, this diet trend was created by celebrities.
>> CORRECT!
And the reason why so many people go on a lose weight or diet is influenced by the media.
>> And the reason why so many people lose weight or do diet is because of the influence of social media.
Obesity is a problem, but excessive underweithgt is also problem.
>> Obesity is a problem, but excessive underweight is also problem.
Ths problem is many students and teenagers want to have an idol's body.
>> Ths problem happens to many students and teenagers who want to have an idol's body.
This is why teenagers think that celebrities' fashion and body shape are standards of beauty.
>> CORRECT!

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
135302 Beauty ÀÓ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-03-07 2280
135301 Describe the last concert that you went to ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-07 1924
135300 Can you name three jobs you can be good at? ±Ç*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-07 1
135299 greeting ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-07 2375
135298 Homelessness ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-07 2400
135297 What do you think of people who really take care of their things? ¿À*¼Ò ¿Ï·á 2024-03-07 6
135296 Why do some people prefer to buy imported products? ¿À*¼Ò ¿Ï·á 2024-03-07 0
135295 Homework ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-03-07 3
135294 Do you prefer to eat meals alone, with one other person or lots... ±è*¼ø ¿Ï·á 2024-03-07 1963
135293 homework À¯*¸° ¿Ï·á 2024-03-06 2398
135292 Why it is important to be receptive to other people\'s opinions? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-03-06 2577
135291 How do you hide your anger? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-03-06 2
135290 Homework Àå*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-06 3149
135289 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-03-06 3140
135288 Homework ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2024-03-06 1932
135287 homework 03.06 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2024-03-06 2496
135286 Homework ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-06 1491
135285 1ÀÏÂ÷ ¼÷Á¦ ½Å*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-06 11
135284 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-06 2
135283 Do you like the apartment you\'re staying now? Why or why not? ½Å*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-03-06 2667

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04