¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Bullies

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¹Ú*À²
2024-03-06 2184

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I don't have any messages for bullies.
However, there are some bully students in my school.
They are usually girl, so they make-up too much and say a lot of bad words.
I try not to involved with them when I'm in the school.
Also I don't talk to them first.
But I don't scared of them because they are also same age with me.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Julie, thank you for working on your homework. Here are some changes for you to review. The sentences have been simplified for better understanding and rewritten for clarity. I've also made some grammar corrections.
Sincerely,
^^ T. Ara

I don't have any messages for bullies.
>>> CORRECT!!
However, there are some bully students in my school.
>>> However, there are some bully students in my school,
They are usually girl, so they make-up too much and say a lot of bad words.
>>> usually girls who wear a lot of makeup and say bad words.
I try not to involved with them when I'm in the school.
>>>I try not to get involved with them while I'm at school,
Also I don't talk to them first.
>>> and I don't talk to them first.
But I don't scared of them because they are also same age with me.
>>> But I'm not scared of them because they are the same age as me.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
135797 Describe one emotion you feel strongly about and explain why... Ȳ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-03-23 1826
135796 A favorite book character ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-03-23 1942
135795 What was the most unusal food you have tried? Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-23 3
135794 What do you think are the reasons why people want to be... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2024-03-23 2333
135793 question and homework ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-23 2184
135792 question and homework ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-22 1957
135791 question and homework ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-22 2259
135790 Who is the most beautiful person you know? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-03-22 0
135789 Homework Àå*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-22 2483
135788 Have you ever been stung by a jellyfish or a sea urchin? ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-22 3618
135787 homework 03.22 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2024-03-22 2169
135786 Homework ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2024-03-22 2353
135785 homework ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-03-22 2447
135784 homework ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-03-22 2039
135783 Is it expensive to stay or have a vacation in your city? Why or... ½Å*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-03-22 2595
135782 2023.03.22 ¼÷Á¦ ¾ç*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-03-22 1
135781 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-22 1
135780 How to keep a positive mindest when facing disappointments? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-03-22 2484
135779 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-22 0
135778 Describe a friend who has played an important part in your life. ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-03-22 6

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04