¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

The best place to raise a family

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¹Î
2024-03-18 2030

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think 'sweet home' is the best place to raise a family.
Because some children will don't come back to their home, and other children will feel happy living far from their family.
And some elder people will feel uncomfortable in their son or daughter's home.

I want to prescribe a 'sweet home' that family members feel 'comfortable' when they come back home.
I raised in this 'sweet home', so I was able to overcome the crisis of quitting my job.
Also my brother got healthy after he quitted his job and came back home.
He had lived alone because of his job. At that time, he got a hair loss and skin problem.

Therefore, the best place to rasie a family is a home where all family members feel comfortable when they're in home.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

You have written a meaningful answer, Min. ^^ I agree that the best place to raise a family is our "sweet home".
-Khai

I think 'sweet home' is the best place to raise a family.

>> I think ¡°sweet home¡± is the best place to raise a family.

Because some children will don't come back to their home, and other children will feel happy living far from their family.

>> It is because some children may not come back to their home, and other children will feel happy living far from their family.

And some elder people will feel uncomfortable in their son or daughter's home.

>> Some elderly people will also feel uncomfortable in their son or daughter's home.

I want to prescribe a 'sweet home' that family members feel 'comfortable' when they come back home.

>> I want to recommend a ¡°sweet home¡± where family members feel ¡°comfortable¡± when they come back home.

I raised in this 'sweet home', so I was able to overcome the crisis of quitting my job.

>> I was raised in this ¡°sweet home¡±, so I was able to overcome the crisis of quitting my job.

Also my brother got healthy after he quitted his job and came back home.

>> CORRECT

He had lived alone because of his job.

>> CORRECT

OR

>> Before, he lived alone because of his job.

At that time, he got a hair loss and skin problem.

>> CORRECT

OR

>> During that time, he had hair loss and skin problems.

Therefore, the best place to rasie a family is a home where all family members feel comfortable when they're in home.

>> Therefore, the best place to raise a family is a home where all family members feel comfortable when they're at home.


¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
134593 homework ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-02-09 1951
134592 homework ¹Ú*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-02-08 2354
134591 Why english fluency significant for you? ¿À*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-02-08 2770
134590 What is our skin for? ÃÖ*¼º ¿Ï·á 2024-02-08 2
134589 home work ÃÖ*¼Ø ¿Ï·á 2024-02-08 2521
134588 Making others feel like they\'re on top of the world ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-02-08 3043
134587 What is the meaning of beauty ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-02-08 0
134586 Some topics we should be careful ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-02-08 0
134585 What five words do you think most describe you? ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-02-08 3392
134584 Discuss a memorable experience you had while traveling. ÃÖ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-08 1519
134583 Homework ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-02-08 4355
134582 homework ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-02-08 2150
134581 homework ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-02-08 3224
134580 homework ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-02-08 1964
134579 What do you not like about the advertisement nowadays? Why? ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-02-08 1
134578 WRITING TASK: Which new technological tool are you looking... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-02-08 6
134577 homework ±è*¸° ¿Ï·á 2024-02-08 1
134576 WRITING TASK: Please tell me how to be more patient. ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-02-08 8
134575 Money Ȳ*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-02-08 1998
134574 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-02-08 2623

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04