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homework 03.18

작성자: 최*�
2024-03-18 2685

회원님의 영작문

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Among all the countries that you’ve visited so far, which gave you the most lasting/best impression? Why?
When I became an adult, the first place I traveled abroad is Japan.
When I was a student, my friends went abroad and they show off it.
I was felt envious of my friends, so I set a plan to travel abroad.
When I first time went on a Japan trip, I didn't know Japanese and English well.
And also, at that time my thought that I only trust the translation application.
But, the abroad trip changed my stubbornness.
Because, I reflect on finish the trip.
Throughout the trip, I felt frustrated with myself.
Because, I can't told simple conversation also I couldn't speak English.
Therefore, I always relied on translation app.
As a result, If I don't have a smartphone, I can't do anything.
So, I realized that If I want more fun and more deep trip, learning a language it is too important thing.
I think every when I go where, the trip give me motivation

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Among all the countries that you’ve visited so far, which gave you the most lasting/best impression? Why?


When I became an adult, the first place I traveled abroad is Japan.
>> When I became an adult, the first place I visited when I traveled abroad is Japan.
When I was a student, my friends went abroad and they show off it.
>> When I was a student, my friends went abroad and they showed it off.
I was felt envious of my friends, so I set a plan to travel abroad.
>> I felt envious of my friends, so I set a plan to travel abroad.
OR >> I was envious of my friends, so I set a plan to travel abroad.
When I first time went on a Japan trip, I didn't know Japanese and English well.
>> When I first went on a trip to Japan, I couldn't speak Japanese and English well.
And also, at that time my thought that I only trust the translation application.
>> And also, at that time, my thought was that I can only trust the translator.
But, the abroad trip changed my stubbornness.
>> But, my trip abroad changed my stubbornness.
Because, I reflect on finish the trip.
>> Because, I made a reflection after my trip.
Throughout the trip, I felt frustrated with myself.
>> CORRECT!
Because, I can't told simple conversation also I couldn't speak English.
>> Because, I can't make a simple conversation, and I couldn't speak English.
Therefore, I always relied on the translation app.
>> CORRECT!
As a result, if I don't have a smartphone, I can't do anything.
>> CORRECT!
So, I realized that if I want more fun and more deep trip, learning a language it is too important thing.
>> So, I realized that if I want a more fun and deeper or meaningful trip, learning a language is an important thing.
I think every when I go where, the trip give me motivation
>> I think whenever or wherever I go, the trip gives me a motivation.

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