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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

HW

작성자: 나*진
2024-03-21 1886

회원님의 영작문

Interest in the gaming industry has constantly enabled me to monitor the market. Primarily, I strive not to miss any information about new game releases. Even if I can't play all of them directly, I seek to gain an overall evaluation and understanding of games through reviews, ratings on platforms like Steam, or watching streamers play.
Furthermore, I aim to grasp the trends and industry orientations within the gaming market. This interest has led me to research market trends through platforms like Mobile Index and Sensor Tower. I have observed the trend where RPGs traditionally dominated the domestic gaming market, but game companies are not complacent and are choosing to expand their business direction in terms of genres and platforms.
Finally, I am also paying attention to changes or regulations on the platform situation affecting the game industry, such as lawsuits by two major markets and Epic Games on in-app payments and regulations on probability-based items.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello, Eugene!
Your response in the job interview demonstrates a strong understanding of the gaming industry's market trends and regulatory landscape. You effectively highlighted your methods for staying informed and staying aware of regulatory changes impacting the industry. Consider balancing detail with conciseness to ensure clarity while expressing how your insights can benefit potential employers, such as informing marketing strategies or business expansion plans. Overall, your depth of knowledge and proactive approach to industry dynamics is commendable!
~ Teacher Maxine

Interest in the gaming industry has constantly enabled me to monitor the market.
>> CORRECT!
OR >> My ongoing interest in the gaming industry has allowed me to continuously monitor the market.

Primarily, I strive not to miss any information about new game releases.
>> CORRECT!
OR >> My main focus is to ensure that I don't overlook any details regarding new game releases.

Even if I can't play all of them directly, I seek to gain an overall evaluation and understanding of games through reviews, ratings on platforms like Steam, or watching streamers play.
>> CORRECT!

Furthermore, I aim to grasp the trends and industry orientations within the gaming market.
>> CORRECT!
OR >> Additionally, I strive to understand the trends and industry dynamics within the gaming market.

This interest has led me to research market trends through platforms like Mobile Index and Sensor Tower.
>> CORRECT!

I have observed the trend where RPGs traditionally dominated the domestic gaming market, but game companies are not complacent and are choosing to expand their business direction in terms of genres and platforms.
>> CORRECT!

Finally, I am also paying attention to changes or regulations on the platform situation affecting the game industry, such as lawsuits by two major markets and Epic Games on in-app payments and regulations on probability-based items.
>> CORRECT!
OR >> Lastly, I am closely monitoring changes and regulations in the platform landscape that impact the gaming industry, including lawsuits involving major markets and Epic Games regarding in-app payments and regulations on probability-based items.

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135821 Homework 권*윤 완료 2024-03-25 1
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HOW TO USE IT?

[마이페이지 > 수업 내용 보기 > 학습 캘린더 > 영작교정 버튼 클릭]

수업 횟수만큼 영작교정 게시판이 생성되며,
지난 날짜에도 게시 할 수 있습니다.

주5회 수업 : 월 20회 이용 가능
주3회 수업 : 월 12회 이용 가능
주2회 수업 : 월 08회 이용 가능
01
교정 내용은 최대 1,000byte까지 올릴 수 있습니다.

첨부 파일은 원활한 첨삭을 위한 참고자료로 사용될 뿐,
파일에 대한 첨삭은 불가능 합니다.

업로드 가능한 첨부 파일은 최대 2mb까지이며,
첨부 할 수 있는 파일 형식은 다음과 같습니다.

문서 - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
이미지 - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
이용이 어려운 점 양해 부탁 드립니다.
04

와이즈에듀케이션아이(주) 사이트명: 파워잉글리쉬 대표이사 전상현
사업자등록번호: 217-81-44736 통신판매신고번호: 2014-서울도봉-0233호
서울본사: 서울시 노원구 한글비석로 245 두타빌 B동 7층 713호
대표번호 1688-8672 개인정보관리 책임자: 안희영 [powerenglish@pweng.net]