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영작교정 게시판

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자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

My advice about life to elementary students

작성자: 김*민
2024-03-28 3635

회원님의 영작문

First, I want to tell to kids that "Life is not in the order of grades", so you don't have to only focus on studying.
But I have to emphasize importance of studying how to socialize with friends. For example, people have to realize that their actions aren't always right, and when people do something wrong, they should apologize.

Second, I want to give an advice that your dream may not be come true, and your life may doesn't go your own way.
This advice results from my experience. I wanted to be a writer, a publisher, or a teacher who teaches Korean to foreign students.
But now, I'm a government official in the field of social welfare despite I didn't work as a social worker!
Nevertheless, I would like to add that you have to explore what you like and can do well, study hard to achieve your dreams. And even if your dreams do not come true, you should be an adult who do your best in the given tasks.

And last, I emphasize that I hope you would be safe and healthy in your whole life!

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Great work, Min! You have written a very meaningful answer in your homework. I believe that these realizations and advice will really help a young person.
-Khai
First, I want to tell to kids that "Life is not in the order of grades", so you don't have to only focus on studying.
>> First, I want to tell my kids that, "life is not in the order of grades," so you don't have to only focus on studying.

But I have to emphasize importance of studying how to socialize with friends. 

>> But I have to emphasize the importance of studying how to socialize with friends.

For example, people have to realize that their actions aren't always right, and when people do something wrong, they should apologize.

>> CORRECT

Second, I want to give an advice that your dream may not be come true, and your life may doesn't go your own way.

>> Second, I want to give the advice that your dream may not come true, and your life may not go your way.

This advice results from my experience. 

>> CORRECT

OR

>> This advice was based on my experience.

I wanted to be a writer, a publisher, or a teacher who teaches Korean to foreign students.

>> CORRECT

But now, I'm a government official in the field of social welfare despite I didn't work as a social worker!

>> But now, I'm a government official in the field of social welfare, despite the fact that I didn't work as a social worker!

Nevertheless, I would like to add that you have to explore what you like and can do well, study hard to achieve your dreams. 

>> Nevertheless, I would like to add that you have to explore what you like and can do well and study hard to achieve your dreams.

And even if your dreams do not come true, you should be an adult who do your best in the given tasks.

>> And even if your dreams do not come true, you should be an adult who does your best at any given task.

And last, I emphasize that I hope you would be safe and healthy in your whole life!

>> And last, I emphasize that I hope you will be safe and healthy your whole life!


번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
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135042 Homework 권*미 완료 2024-02-27 0
135041 homework 02.27 최*� 완료 2024-02-27 2420
135040 Homework 김*우 완료 2024-02-27 26
135039 Homework 김*서 완료 2024-02-27 1
135038 How do you become more patient at work? 천*은 완료 2024-02-27 2662
135037 homework 김*현 완료 2024-02-27 3370
135036 homework 김*현 완료 2024-02-27 2706
135035 Are you close to your uncle and aunt? 송*우 완료 2024-02-27 2799
135034 Do you sometimes travel on the weekend? 김*아 완료 2024-02-27 2981
135033 Homework 권*윤 완료 2024-02-27 6
135032 Homework 류*우 완료 2024-02-27 3848
135031 What do you think about violence in sports? 신*섭 완료 2024-02-27 2068
135030 Homework 윤*선 완료 2024-02-27 2321
135029 What lessons do you lrean from cartoons? 박*현 완료 2024-02-27 2363
135028 Do you enjoy Christmas movies? What\'s your favorite... 박*호 완료 2024-02-27 2892
135027 How can traveling be educational? 오*현 완료 2024-02-27 2760
135026 homework 이*수 완료 2024-02-27 1
135025 The importance of body language 임*진 완료 2024-02-27 2687

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첨삭이 가능하며,

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03
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