¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: À±*¼±
2024-03-28 1712

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

One of the most common ways to lose weight is to reduce the amount of food you eat. However, excessive dietary restrictions can cause harm to your health. Another common way to lose weight is by exercising. However, when overdone, it can also have an adverse effect on our bodies and minds. One of the most common mistakes of dieting is by eating insufficient nutrients. Our bodies need various nutrients, and a lack of these essential nutrients can put our health at risk.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Mia! Thank you for writing your homework. Indeed, we need to ensure that we are getting the essential nutrients every day, even when we are on a diet. Well done! 
-Khai

One of the most common ways to lose weight is to reduce the amount of food you eat. 

>> CORRECT

OR

>> Reducing the amount of food you eat is one of the most common ways to lose weight.

However, excessive dietary restrictions can cause harm to your health. 

>> CORRECT

Another common way to lose weight is by exercising. 

>> CORRECT
OR

>> In addition, exercising is a common way to lose weight.

However, when overdone, it can also have an adverse effect on our bodies and minds. 

>> CORRECT

OR

>> But when it is overdone, it can have a negative effect on our bodies and minds.

One of the most common mistakes of dieting is by eating insufficient nutrients. 

>> One of the most common mistakes in dieting is eating insufficient nutrients.

Our bodies need various nutrients, and a lack of these essential nutrients can put our health at risk.

>> CORRECT

OR

>> Our bodies need various vitamins and minerals, and a lack of these can put our health at risk.


¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
135592 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-03-18 2
135591 Where do you usually buy your clothes? How often do you buy new... ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-03-18 1759
135590 My thought about single mother in Korea ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-03-18 3071
135589 What are your thoughts on ride-sharing services? ¼­*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-18 0
135588 What egg dishes from other countries would you like to try? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-03-18 1898
135587 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-03-18 2021
135586 Fun Happen This Week ¹Ú*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-03-18 2004
135585 Homework À±*¼± ¿Ï·á 2024-03-18 1826
135584 Homework ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-03-18 8
135583 My decision about job opportunity abroad ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-03-18 2327
135582 homework ÀÌ*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-03-18 1703
135581 The best place to raise a family ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-03-18 2059
135580 food ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-18 2061
135579 HOMEWORK FOR 03.18.2024 WRITING TASK: If you could choose the... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-03-18 4
135578 When is the best time for you to spend time with your family and... ±Ç*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-18 0
135577 Homework 3/18 °í*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-03-18 7
135576 Why is English fluency siginificant for you? ÀÌ*´Ã ¿Ï·á 2024-03-18 2481
135575 Somethings we can\'t seek advice online. ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-18 2424
135574 Which place would you really like to visit? ¿À*¼Ò ¿Ï·á 2024-03-18 2
135573 Should important choices be made by parents for young adults? ¿À*¼Ò ¿Ï·á 2024-03-18 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04