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영작교정 게시판

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자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

What do you mostly look forward to when you enter a company? Why?

작성자: 송*하
2024-04-09 2397

회원님의 영작문

Team chemistry with coworkers in a company is one of the most important factors both earning profit and sustaining each colleague's work efficiency. When I was working in the interior company, our department was closely related with designers who used our office together. We used to have dinner monthly and every time was a great opportunity to listen their personal concern which was helpful accelerator to collaborate in office afterwards. I could communicate more naturally to seniors and the working condition felt better with a wider perspective on my senior's hidden supports. The moment I am writing this short experience, firmed chemistry was possible because all of office members were open-minded to gather. I wish I could meet people in a future company who are always opened to communicate together.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello Mathew,
Great composition! Keep it up :) 
~ T. Demi ^^

Team chemistry with coworkers in a company is one of the most important factors both earning profit and sustaining each colleague's work efficiency. 

>> Team chemistry with my co-workers is one of the most important factors in earning profit and sustaining each other's work efficiency.
When I was working in the interior company, our department was closely related with designers who used our office together. 
>> When I was working at an interior company, our department was closely related to designers who were using the office with us.
We used to have dinner monthly and every time was a great opportunity to listen their personal concern which was helpful accelerator to collaborate in office afterwards. 
>> We used to have monthly dinners, during which we listened to personal concerns and found ways to collaborate in the office.
I could communicate more naturally to seniors and the working condition felt better with a wider perspective on my senior's hidden supports. 
>> I could communicate more naturally to seniors and the working conditions felt much better with a wider perspective on my senior's hidden supports.
The moment I am writing this short experience, firmed chemistry was possible because all of office members were open-minded to gather. 
>> The moment I was writing this short experience, firmed chemistry was possible because all of the office members gathered open-mindedly.
I wish I could meet people in a future company who are always opened to communicate together.
>> I wish I could meet people in the future company who are always open to communication together.
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