¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 04.16

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2024-04-16 2988

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What could be the reasons why some siblings end up having a bad blood with each other?

Sometimes, we want to live a rich life.
Because they seems to live a wealth life, they seems don't have any problems and worries about money.
But, there is no big difference between people's life.
And also rich people have pain in their life just like others too.
It means, I think the most common beef about something is a money problem, a financial, and legacy inheritance between siblings .
Most people's greed has no limits.
Because, whether we have a lot or a little, we want to have more.
In old Korea, we had prefers sons over daughters culture.
So, until the my parents' generation, only first son was given a inheritance.
But, rest of the son and daughters didn't receive it.
So the beef between the brothers became worse.
Sometimes the most common case I watched on the another country's news is the inheritance problem.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What could be the reasons why some siblings end up having a bad blood with each other?


Sometimes, we want to live a rich life.
>> CORRECT!
OR >> Sometimes, we want to live a wealthy life.
Because they seems to live a wealth life, they seems don't have any problems and worries about money.
>> That's because they seem to live a wealthy life, they don't have any problems and worries about money.
But, there is no big difference between people's life.
>> But, there is no big difference between people's lives.
And also rich people have pain in their life just like others, too.
>> And also, rich people have pain in their lives just like others, too.
It means, I think the most common beef about something is a money problem, a financial, and legacy inheritance between siblings.
>> It means, I think the most common beef about something is money or finances, and legacy inheritance between siblings.
Most people's greed has no limits.
>> CORRECT!
Because, whether we have a lot or a little, we want to have more.
>> CORRECT!
In old Korea, we had prefers sons over daughters culture.
>> In old Korea, we used to prefer sons over daughters in our culture.
So, until the my parents' generation, only first son was given a inheritance.
>> So, until the my parents' generation, only the first son was given an inheritance.
But, rest of the son and daughters didn't receive it.
>> But, the rest of the sons and daughters don't receive anything.
So the beef between the brothers became worse.
>> CORRECT!
Sometimes the most common case I watched on the another country's news is the inheritance problem.
>> CORRECT!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
135721 Answer the homework Á¤*¼· ¿Ï·á 2024-03-21 2867
135720 What is your favorite hobby, and why do you enjoy it? Describe... Ȳ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-03-21 3705
135719 Who amongst the four people in the sample situations can you... ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-03-21 2
135718 A piece of advice to my husband ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-21 2690
135717 20.Mar.2024 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-21 0
135716 What is the importance of friends? ¿À*¼Ò ¿Ï·á 2024-03-21 1
135715 homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-03-21 2383
135714 homework ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-21 2306
135713 Which one is better, too confident or nervous but prepared? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-03-21 2737
135712 homework À¯*¸° ¿Ï·á 2024-03-20 2585
135711 Where do you usually buy your clothes? How often do you buy new... ±è*¼ø ¿Ï·á 2024-03-20 2714
135710 homework 03.20 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2024-03-20 2572
135709 Homework Àå*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-20 1896
135708 Homework ¹Ú*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-03-20 2148
135707 Dream ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-03-20 3160
135706 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-20 2
135705 2023.03.20 ¼÷Á¦ ¾ç*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-03-20 1
135704 homework ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-03-20 2671
135703 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-20 2215
135702 The scariest moment in my life. ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2024-03-20 2622

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04