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자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
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HW

작성자: 나*진
2024-04-19 2015

회원님의 영작문

For my work in the business division, I frequently had to adapt to market conditions or adjust my approach according to the company's strategic direction. Firstly, when deciding to expand into emerging genres in the market, I made efforts to pursue this direction. By seeking out new studios and negotiating contracts, I successfully attracted works in new genres, leading to increased revenue and genre expansion on our platform. Additionally, I diligently adhere to the business direction set within the company, swiftly pivoting tasks according to instructions and seeking cooperation from partners during transitions. Through maintaining strong collaborative relationships with partners, it was easier to obtain their understanding. Therefore, I possess adaptability to both internal and external changes, and strive to apply this to my work and performance.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello, Eugene!
Good job on demonstrating your adaptability and problem-solving skills in this response. There were clear examples of how you successfully adapted to market conditions and company strategies. Keep it up!
~ Teacher Maxine 

For my work in the business division, I frequently had to adapt to market conditions or adjust my approach according to the company's strategic direction. 
>> CORRECT
OR >> In my role within the business division, I frequently encountered the need to adapt to shifting market conditions and align my approach with the company's strategic objectives.

Firstly, when deciding to expand into emerging genres in the market, I made efforts to pursue this direction. 
>> CORRECT
OR >> Initially, when exploring opportunities to expand into emerging genres, I actively pursued this direction.

By seeking out new studios and negotiating contracts, I successfully attracted works in new genres, leading to increased revenue and genre expansion on our platform. 
>> CORRECT
OR >> Through efforts such as engaging with new studios and negotiating contracts, I successfully attracted projects in these new genres, resulting in increased revenue and broader genre coverage on our platform.

Additionally, I diligently adhere to the business direction set within the company, swiftly pivoting tasks according to instructions and seeking cooperation from partners during transitions. 
>> CORRECT

Through maintaining strong collaborative relationships with partners, it was easier to obtain their understanding. 
>> CORRECT
OR >> By fostering strong collaborative relationships with partners, I found it easier to garner their support and understanding.

Therefore, I possess adaptability to both internal and external changes, and strive to apply this to my work and performance.
>> CORRECT
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