¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Describe your dream house.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿í
2024-04-22 2365

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

i'll tell you about my dream house.
actually when i was young, i lived in 50 m2 apartment.
My partent working hard everyday, finally bought them.
since i know that situation, my dream was bought over the 50m2 apartment.
But grown up now, i can understand, it's very hard.
So i'm changed my goal, just have enjoyable life with a child.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Dan!
That's true! We will never understand one's situation unless we are already "in that" situation. So as early as now, the young generation should understand life situations and not sugar coating them.
Have a nice day!
T. Aki~

I'll tell you about my dream house.
>>> CORRECT!

actually when i was young, i lived in 50 m2 apartment.
>>> Actually when I was young, I lived in a 50m2 apartment.

My partent working hard everyday, finally bought them.
>>> My parents worked hard every day and finally bought them.

since i know that situation, my dream was bought over the 50m2 apartment.
>>> Since I knew that situation, my dream was to buy over the 50m2 apartment.

But grown up now, i can understand, it's very hard.
>>> But grown up now, I can understand, it's very hard.

So i'm changed my goal, just have enjoyable life with a child.
>>>  So I've changed my goal, just to have an enjoyable life with a child.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
136348 What do you think about eating disorders such as Anorexia and... À±*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-04-12 2
136347 Do you think you\'re a naturally hard-working person? Why or why... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-12 2312
136346 Is there any holiday in other countries that you wish Korea were... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-12 2485
136345 How important is your hairstyle to you, and why? ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-04-12 4404
136344 \"The greatest risk is to risk nothing at all.\" ÀÓ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-04-12 3540
136343 Once Aristotle said : \"To avoid criticism say nothing, do... ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-04-12 2911
136342 election ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-12 1987
136341 What can you do better when you are alone? Write at least two... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-12 2603
136340 homework ±è*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-12 2810
136339 Describe a friend who has played an important part in your life. ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-12 2716
136338 If you could choose, would you prefer to be the oldest sibling,... ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-12 3113
136337 Advice for those who want to marry ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-12 2712
136336 What foreign food do Koreans enjoy? ±è*¿í ¿Ï·á 2024-04-12 2363
136335 The researcher\'s life ÀÓ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-12 4384
136334 Page.48 ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-04-12 1
136333 April 17th\'s homework ¾È*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-12 2187
136332 Homework Àå*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-11 2590
136331 Are video games good for you? Why? Á¤*Æò ¿Ï·á 2024-04-11 1969
136330 Which is better: experiencing a story through a movie or delving... Á¤*Æò ¿Ï·á 2024-04-11 1
136329 homwork À¯*¸° ¿Ï·á 2024-04-11 2375

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04