¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 04.25

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2024-04-25 2736

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Do you believe that it is important for all countries to have military forces? Why?

I think each country should have military forces.
This is because, basically the role of military is to protect the country and citizens.
But some countries they don't have military forces or they can't make a formal military forces.
The most reason are political problem or geopolitical issues.
For example, there are several countries like Palau, Liechtenstein, and Palestine.
They don't have formal army, instead police the play role of the army or near the other countries help the national defense.
Among the countries don't have military, Japan is unique country.
Japan can't make normal military forces after losing "the second world war".
But, they are made Self-Defense Forces.
This is not called the Army, but it's serves as the army.
To sum up, most countries have military forces for protect to their countries.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Do you believe that it is important for all countries to have military forces? Why?


I think each country should have military forces.
>> CORRECT!
This is because, basically the role of military is to protect the country and citizens.
>> CORRECT!
But some countries they don't have military forces or they can't make a formal military forces.
>> But for some countries, they don't have military forces or they can't make formal military forces.
The most reason are political problem or geopolitical issues.
>> The biggest reasons are political problems and geopolitical issues.
For example, there are several countries like Palau, Liechtenstein, and Palestine.
>> CORRECT!
They don't have formal army, instead police the play role of the army or near the other countries help the national defense.
>> They don't have a formal army, and instead, police officers play the role of the army or other neighboring countries help in the national defense.
Among the countries don't have military, Japan is unique country.
>> Among the countries that don't have a military, Japan is a unique country.
Japan can't make normal military forces after losing "the second world war".
>> CORRECT!
But, they are made Self-Defense Forces.
>> But, they are made for the Self-Defense Forces.
This is not called the Army, but it's serves as the army.
>> This is not called the Army, but it serves as the army.
To sum up, most countries have military forces for protect to their countries.
>> CORRECT!

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
140494 English is very important to me! ÃÖ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-18 2523
140493 Many recent college graduates are un- or underemployed. What do... ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-10-18 3189
140492 16oct2024- homework ±è*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2024-10-18 2576
140491 What qualities does a person need to have to take care of old... ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-18 1
140490 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-10-17 1
140489 What occupations are most affected by weather? Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-17 3
140488 right to protect celebrities\' private lives. ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-17 3185
140487 What do you and your classmates do during your lunch break? ¿À*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-10-17 2430
140486 Do you like visiting Jeju Island? Why or why not? Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-17 3
140485 Home work ½Å*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2024-10-17 2059
140484 Does an age difference make it difficult to be friends? ¹Ú*½Ä ¿Ï·á 2024-10-17 2226
140483 Is the weather in a country important when you choose a place to... Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-17 3
140482 H/W 1017 ¿À*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-17 2258
140481 Please give me three sentences using the word \'booking ÀÓ*½Ç ¿Ï·á 2024-10-17 2096
140480 Homework ¿À*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-10-17 2
140479 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-10-17 2225
140478 homework ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-10-17 2379
140477 before ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-17 1
140476 an hour ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-17 1
140475 Respect my dauters\' decision. ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-17 2069

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04