¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

How much money do you save every day?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¸Í*¿µ
2024-05-06 2404

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I've saved a 40percent of my salary since I was 27.
Most of the money, I've bought america stock and ETF.
Among my stocks, QQQ ETF is my best Stock.
QQQ invests main technology company in America. There are Apple, Google, Tesla, etc 100 major company.
These days, There are so many A.I company in the world, Palantir is so hot in the stock market.
But i invested in Palantir in 2023. I believe that Palantir will be high value stock.
High risk Investing is so dangerous, So invester have to study to stock market and company.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Jun! Thank you so much for doing your homework. You did a wonderful job. Please take note of the corrections I made on your sentences. Keep it up and see you in class! ^^
-T. Julia
I've saved a 40 percent of my salary since I was 27.
>> Correct
Most of the money, I've bought america stock and ETF.
>> Most of the money, I've bought American stock and ETF.
Among my stocks, QQQ ETF is my best Stock.
>> Among my stocks, QQQ ETF is my best stock.
QQQ invests in main technology companies in America. 
>> Correct
There are Apple, Google, Tesla, etc 100 major company.
>> There are Apple, Google, Tesla, etc., 100 major companies.
These days, There are so many A.I company in the world, Palantir is so hot in the stock market.
>> These days, there are so many A.I. companies in the world that Palantir is so hot in the stock market.
But i invested in Palantir in 2023.
>> Correct
I believe that Palantir will be high value stock.
>> I believe that Palantir will be a high-value stock.
High risk Investing is so dangerous, So invester have to study to stock market and company.
>> High-risk investing is so dangerous that investors have to study the stock market and companies.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
139430 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-08-23 0
139429 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-23 1
139428 Reflect on a time when you faced midweek challenges. How did you... ½Å*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-08-23 2324
139427 About my friends ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-08-23 2029
139426 Dangers of dieting ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-08-23 2243
139425 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-23 1878
139424 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-23 0
139423 What are your favorite kinds of programs or shows? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-23 2004
139422 Homework ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-23 0
139421 The last writing task ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-23 0
139420 Home work 2 À§*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-23 7
139419 Would you like to live in your hometown forever? Why or why not? ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-08-23 2611
139418 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-08-23 0
139417 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-08-23 0
139416 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-08-23 1897
139415 Essay: The value of difficult experience do*eun ¿Ï·á 2024-08-23 2048
139414 Have you ever done something silly that you wish you had not... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-23 1927
139413 How do you typically spend your weekends, and what do you... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-23 2039
139412 Is anger ever a bad thing? If so, when? Why? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-23 2018
139411 What is your favorite water activity? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-23 2013

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04