¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you love yourself? Is it important to love yourself?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¼ø
2024-05-15 4063

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Of course, I love myself.
Self-esteem is important for living.
It"s influenced by parents in childhood and by people in a social environment.
It has a positive power .
So, it helps to achieve a goal and to get through difficulties.
It makes people encouraging.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Young Soon!
You would be able to see the differences in the way you write each time.
Learn from your mistakes and become better in expressing yourself.
Let's keep this going.^^
~~ Teacher Sharon
Of course, I love myself.
>> Correct
Self-esteem is important for living.
>> Correct
It"s influenced by parents in childhood and by people in a social environment.
>> It's influenced by parents during childhood and by other people in a social environment.
It has a positive power .
>> It has a positive impact. 
So, it helps to achieve a goal and to get through difficulties.
>> Correct
It makes people encouraging.
>> It makes people feel motivated. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
138894 an extreme job that creates extrem stress ÇÑ*ÀÚ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-01 3
138893 What do you usually do in the winter? ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-01 1
138892 flower snake ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-01 2
138891 How has the concept of \"hoesik\" evolved over time in Korean... ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-08-01 2100
138890 31.July.2024 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-01 3
138889 Yes ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-08-01 2243
138888 What are some popular Asian dishes you have tried? Can you... ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-01 2619
138887 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-08-01 2228
138886 What vegetables are common in your country? ¿À*¼Ò ¿Ï·á 2024-08-01 2
138885 2024.07.31 ³²*·Ê ¿Ï·á 2024-08-01 2082
138884 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-31 1
138883 The greatest rock band in Korea ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-07-31 2562
138882 Homework : ¸Í*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-31 2151
138881 Do you think men enjoy sports more than women? Çö* ¿Ï·á 2024-07-31 2599
138880 Major influende to having my recent interests ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-07-31 1788
138879 Explain the saying \"Time is Gold. Çö* ¿Ï·á 2024-07-31 2177
138878 Explain the saying \"Time is Gold.\" ½Å*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-07-31 2031
138877 homework ½É*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-07-31 2
138876 Have you ever had a dream that seemed impossible? Àå*±¸ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-31 1933
138875 Do you think men enjoy sports more than women? Àå*±¸ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-31 2017

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04