¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you love yourself? Is it important to love yourself?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¼ø
2024-05-15 3944

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Of course, I love myself.
Self-esteem is important for living.
It"s influenced by parents in childhood and by people in a social environment.
It has a positive power .
So, it helps to achieve a goal and to get through difficulties.
It makes people encouraging.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Young Soon!
You would be able to see the differences in the way you write each time.
Learn from your mistakes and become better in expressing yourself.
Let's keep this going.^^
~~ Teacher Sharon
Of course, I love myself.
>> Correct
Self-esteem is important for living.
>> Correct
It"s influenced by parents in childhood and by people in a social environment.
>> It's influenced by parents during childhood and by other people in a social environment.
It has a positive power .
>> It has a positive impact. 
So, it helps to achieve a goal and to get through difficulties.
>> Correct
It makes people encouraging.
>> It makes people feel motivated. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
136620 A good chance ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-04-22 3092
136619 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-04-22 1
136618 What is something that you miss doing? ÃÖ*¼º ¿Ï·á 2024-04-22 2361
136617 My expectation from Sharon\'s power english class. ±è* ¿Ï·á 2024-04-22 1
136616 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-22 2273
136615 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-22 7
136614 >> What\'s your ideal guy? Explain your answer. ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-04-22 2
136613 primarily ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-22 1
136612 homework ±è*º° ¿Ï·á 2024-04-22 1
136611 How do you keep yourself both mentally and physically healthy? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-22 2488
136610 How could art be appreciated and enjoyed by more people? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-22 2595
136609 Which among the birthstones do you like best? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-04-22 2250
136608 homework ÀÌ*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-04-22 2013
136607 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-04-22 2109
136606 Homework À±*¼± ¿Ï·á 2024-04-22 2889
136605 2024.04.19 ³²*·Ê ¿Ï·á 2024-04-22 2739
136604 HW ³ª*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-04-22 3053
136603 Do you think traffic congestion is a problem that can be solved... À±*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-04-22 1
136602 HOMEWORK FOR 04.22.2023 WRITING TASK: How can we prepare for the... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-04-22 3
136601 How much does your family mean to you? Why? ±æ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-04-22 5

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04