¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 05.27

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2024-05-27 2804

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Why do you think skin care for men has only recently become popular?

In my country, many people think it's very important how I look to others.
In other words, it's being conscious of others.
Actually, I think this kinds of conscious made a lot of bad culture.
That's why there are a severe "Lookism" in Korea.
Anyway, recently, not only women, many men are doing skincare.
One of the reason is that they want to look handsome to they interested person.
Many people said that, when their skin is good condition can they become attractive.
Similarly, nowadays for other reasons why many men take care of their skin, the good skin has become a symbol of wealth.
As we know, the skincare cost in dermatologist is very expensive.
Typically, people who have where jobs they have to meet many people get a lot of skincare.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Why do you think skin care for men has only recently become popular?

In my country, many people think it's very important how I look to others.
>> CORRECT!
In other words, it's being conscious of others.
>> CORRECT!
Actually, I think this kinds of conscious made a lot of bad culture.
>> Actually, I think these kinds of consciousness made a lot of bad culture.
That's why there are a severe "Lookism" in Korea.
>> That's why there's a severe "Lookism" in Korea.
Anyway, recently, not only women, many men are doing skin care.
>> CORRECT!
One of the reason is that they want to look handsome to they interested person.
>> One of the reason is that they want to look handsome for the person they interested in. 
Many people said that, when their skin is good condition can they become attractive.
>> Many people said that, when their skin is in good condition, they can become attractive.
Similarly, nowadays for other reasons why many men take care of their skin, the good skin has become a symbol of wealth.
>> Similarly, nowadays, there are other reasons why many men take care of their skin, because a good skin has become a symbol of wealth.
As we know, the skin care cost in dermatologist is very expensive.
>> As we know, skin care costs an arm and a leg whenever you go to a dermatologist.
Typically, people who have where jobs they have to meet many people get a lot of skincare.
>> Typically, people who have jobs where they need to meet many people get a lot of skin care.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
136750 homework ÀÌ*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-04-26 3705
136749 Playing a claw machine game is the best way to relieve stress. ÃÖ* ¿Ï·á 2024-04-26 3997
136748 HW ³ª*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-04-26 2123
136747 My weakness that hinders mi from accomplishing my goals. ÃÖ* ¿Ï·á 2024-04-26 2997
136746 What preparation in general do you need to have before... ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-26 3343
136745 24.Apr.2024 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-26 0
136744 What part of the concert will bring you disappointed? ±è*¿í ¿Ï·á 2024-04-26 2996
136743 Page.64 ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-04-26 2
136742 What would you like a fortune teller find out about your future? ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-26 2667
136741 Basic ÀÓ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-26 2568
136740 homework 04.25 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2024-04-25 2472
136739 Homework ¹Ú*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-04-25 2109
136738 For you, who is Korea\'s best president? Why? Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-25 2166
136737 2024.04.25 ¼÷Á¦ ¾ç*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-04-25 1
136736 What do you normally do on weekdays? Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-04-25 3072
136735 What occasion do you enjoy celebrating? ÃÖ*¼º ¿Ï·á 2024-04-25 2300
136734 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-04-25 1
136733 Communicating in English ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-04-25 3352
136732 rural ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-25 1
136731 What is the best form of advertising? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-04-25 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04