¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What do you think is the best job in the world? Explain.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Â÷*Áø
2024-06-13 2248

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think the best job is a legal profession because they lead a peaceful world by law.
Ther are punish criminals and help the victim.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello again, Yale!

Here's another corrected essay for you. As always, go over the corrections given below. Thank you for sending your homework. See you tomorrow in the afternoon!  


Cheers,
Jean~~



                        What do you think is the best job in the world? Explain.


I think the best job is a legal profession because they lead a peaceful world by law.
>> OR: For me, the legal profession is the best because these professionals maintain peace in the country. 

Ther are punish criminals and help the victim.
>> They punish criminals and help victims. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
137450 Many people drink coffee to feel alert. Is there a better way to... ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-27 2307
137449 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-05-27 0
137448 Why is making eye contact important? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-05-27 1682
137447 2024.05.24 ³²*·Ê ¿Ï·á 2024-05-27 1678
137446 Is anger ever a good thing? If so, when? Why? ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-05-27 2182
137445 What is your favorite subject in school? Why do you think so? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-05-27 1831
137444 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-27 2
137443 homework ±è*º° ¿Ï·á 2024-05-27 1
137442 Perfect weather °í*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-27 1958
137441 What challenges do people face when trying to become... ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-27 4
137440 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-05-27 2929
137439 Essay in my facvorite movie Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-27 2180
137438 : In what ways do you think your English skills have improved... ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-05-27 3041
137437 hw ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-05-27 1
137436 Would you consider hiring a housekeeper to do chores for you ? ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-27 3473
137435 Can you tell me a little about Incheon? ±Ç*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-05-27 2
137434 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-05-27 2531
137433 2024.05.27 ¼÷Á¦ ¾ç*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-05-27 0
137432 Page.33 ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-05-27 1
137431 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-05-26 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04