¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Although countries with long average working hours are economically successful, this often has some

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*ÇÏ
2024-06-17 2142

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Long working hours definitely contribute to economic productivity if those are industries requiring continuous operation. It is directly related to working hours whereas office workers, service job employees and professional workers don't affect their productivity by the working hours. Although it has positive effect to nation's economic development, there are some negative social consequences. Firstly, it is associated with increased stress, fatigue, and various health problems. Secondly, extended working hours leave less time for leisure, family and personal development leading to a poorer work-life balance. Lastly, exhaustion from long hours can hinder innovation and creativity. Government in Korea has implemented 40 hour working a week measure since 2003 to boost employees' work-life balance and prevent diseases related to the stress from long working hours. Although, long working hours may correlate with economic success, its negative effects have to be considered for sustainable

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there Mr. Hwang~! ^^ Well done! Your knowledge of the dispute and the events surrounding it shows in your essay. It is clear that you understand the main points of contention, and you have discussed these in an easily understood way.
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
Long working hours definitely contribute to economic productivity if those are industries requiring continuous operation.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 It is directly related to working hours whereas office workers, service job employees and professional workers don't affect their productivity by the working hours. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Although it has positive effect to nation's economic development, there are some negative social consequences.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 Firstly, it is associated with increased stress, fatigue, and various health problems.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 Secondly, extended working hours leave less time for leisure, family and personal development leading to a poorer work-life balance.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 Lastly, exhaustion from long hours can hinder innovation and creativity.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 Government in Korea has implemented 40 hour working a week measure since 2003 to boost employees' work-life balance and prevent diseases related to stress from long working hours.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 Although, long working hours may correlate with economic success, its negative effects have to be considered for sustainable
>>> CORRECT~!^^
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
138572 Hamburger ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-07-17 2138
138571 What advice can you give someone who is facing so many... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-07-17 1607
138570 Would you prefer language lessons one-to-one or do you like... ½Å*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-07-17 1982
138569 Sibilant [ch] ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-07-17 2030
138568 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-07-17 3
138567 2024.07.17 ¾ç*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-07-17 1
138566 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-17 2204
138565 What¡¯s your favorite food? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-17 2461
138564 When do you feel happy the most? Ȳ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-07-17 1860
138563 Why people should better face problems in life? Ȳ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-07-17 1916
138562 What are prices like in your country nowadays? How do prices... ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-07-17 1926
138561 Q) What is the biggest challenge about parenting? ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-17 4
138560 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-07-17 2316
138559 Is learning something new a waste of time? ±è*¼ø ¿Ï·á 2024-07-17 2320
138558 IT ¾î*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-17 0
138557 What does friendship mean to you? ¼Û*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2024-07-17 1980
138556 No man is an island. ÇÑ*ÀÚ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-17 8
138555 When do you feel happy the most? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-07-17 2171
138554 HOMEWORK 07.17.2024 ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-07-17 4
138553 HOMEWORK FOR 07.16.2024 WRITING TASK: What are valid reasons for... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-07-17 4

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04