무료 레벨테스트 받고 강사평가 남기면 1,OOO원 쿠폰 즉시 적립!

혹시 사이트에선 찾지 못한 궁금한 점이 있으세요?
남겨주신 이메일을 통해 답변 드리겠습니다.

문의하신 내용이 문자로 발송되오니
연락처를 남겨주세요.
업무시간 월~금 오전9시~오후6시
(점심시간 낮12시~오후1시)

영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Some people think that people shouldn\'t wear animal furs. Do you agree? Why or why not?

작성자: 박*호
2024-06-18 2280

회원님의 영작문

It is well known that a famous American actress campaigns against wearing fur.
I can understand the argument for not wearing fur to protect animals.
But I don't agree with that opinion.
Because it denies the food chain relationship on Earth.
Herbivores, such as cows and goats, eat grass, and carnivores, such as lions and wolves, eat herbivores.
Humans are at the top of the food chain and eat grass, grains, and meat.
Humans have been catching animals for a very long time, eating their meat, and making their fur into clothing to withstand the cold.
Telling people not to wear animal fur is as unreasonable as telling people not to eat meat.
I think if people really want to protect animals they should ban hunting just for fun.
Predators such as lions and wolves hunt only when they are hungry.
Humans must learn this.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello there, Sun!

Each year, approximately 100 million animals are killed for their fur. Animals on fur farms spend their entire lives confined to cramped, filthy wire cages. Fur farmers use the cheapest and cruelest killing methods available, including suffocation, electrocution, gas, and poison.

- Kristine ^^ 

It is well known that a famous American actress campaigns against wearing fur.
>> Correct.
I can understand the argument for not wearing fur to protect animals.
>> Correct.
But I don't agree with that opinion.
>> Correct.
Because it denies the food chain relationship on Earth.
>> Since it contradicts the Earth's food chain interaction.
Herbivores, such as cows and goats, eat grass, and carnivores, such as lions and wolves, eat herbivores.
>> Correct.
Humans are at the top of the food chain and eat grass, grains, and meat.
>> At the top of the food chain, humans consume meat, cereals, and grass.
Humans have been catching animals for a very long time, eating their meat, and making their fur into clothing to withstand the cold.
>> For a very long time, people have been hunting and gathering animals to consume their meat and use their fur to make warm clothing.
Telling people not to wear animal fur is as unreasonable as telling people not to eat meat.
>> It is just as absurd to advise people not to eat meat as it is to advise them not to wear animal fur.
I think if people really want to protect animals they should ban hunting just for fun.
>> I believe that hunting for pleasure should be outlawed if people genuinely care about saving animals.
Predators such as lions and wolves hunt only when they are hungry.
>> Predators that prey mainly during times of hunger includes wolves and lions.
Humans must learn this.
>> People need to understand this.
번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
141230 the road 민*정 완료 2024-11-28 2
141229 Which is a better viewing experience, watching plays or watching... 손*희 완료 2024-11-28 1696
141228 What might happen if you don’t use any phones in a day, week,... 이*태 완료 2024-11-28 2191
141227 How would your life be different without access to technology? 이*태 완료 2024-11-28 2083
141226 Is the weather in a country important when you choose a place to... 이*태 완료 2024-11-28 1916
141225 What annoys you when you hang out with your friends? 최*영 완료 2024-11-28 1
141224 Homework 이*영 완료 2024-11-28 1
141223 LCDS interview 7,8 이*인 완료 2024-11-28 1770
141222 LCDS interview answer 5,6 이*인 완료 2024-11-28 2077
141221 LCDS Interview answer 4 이*인 완료 2024-11-28 1932
141220 LCDS interview 3 이*인 완료 2024-11-28 1820
141219 How do you relax after a busy day? 이*범 완료 2024-11-28 4
141218 The first snow of this year 이*선 완료 2024-11-28 1
141217 What makes people violent? 이*윤 완료 2024-11-27 2121
141216 Are you curious about your future? Why or why not? 한*연 완료 2024-11-27 2041
141215 homework 이*숙 완료 2024-11-27 2241
141214 homework 이*숙 완료 2024-11-27 2165
141213 How can we disconnect from our phones to truly experience the... 신*규 완료 2024-11-27 1904
141212 Homework 김*우 완료 2024-11-27 1
141211 The effect of brave on my life 정*영 완료 2024-11-27 2372

HOW TO USE IT?

[마이페이지 > 수업 내용 보기 > 학습 캘린더 > 영작교정 버튼 클릭]

수업 횟수만큼 영작교정 게시판이 생성되며,
지난 날짜에도 게시 할 수 있습니다.

주5회 수업 : 월 20회 이용 가능
주3회 수업 : 월 12회 이용 가능
주2회 수업 : 월 08회 이용 가능
01
교정 내용은 최대 1,000byte까지 올릴 수 있습니다.

첨부 파일은 원활한 첨삭을 위한 참고자료로 사용될 뿐,
파일에 대한 첨삭은 불가능 합니다.

업로드 가능한 첨부 파일은 최대 2mb까지이며,
첨부 할 수 있는 파일 형식은 다음과 같습니다.

문서 - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
이미지 - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
이용이 어려운 점 양해 부탁 드립니다.
04

와이즈에듀케이션아이(주) 사이트명: 파워잉글리쉬 대표이사 전상현
사업자등록번호: 217-81-44736 통신판매신고번호: 2014-서울도봉-0233호
서울본사: 서울시 노원구 한글비석로 245 두타빌 B동 7층 713호
대표번호 1688-8672 개인정보관리 책임자: 안희영 [powerenglish@pweng.net]