¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What do you think is the most fun musical instrument to play? Why?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Â÷*Áø
2024-06-18 1981

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think the most fun musical instrument is guita because it's easy to learn, sounds good and guitar player is so nice.
I want to play the guitar very well. d=(^o^)=b

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good evening, Yale!

Here's your corected essay. Please go through the corrections and alternative expressions given below, such as "I hope" which can be an alternative to "I want". Good night and see you tomorrow! 


Cheers,
Jean~~



                        What do you think is the most fun musical instrument to play? Why?


I think the most fun musical instrument is guita because it's easy to learn, sounds good and guitar player is so nice.
>> I think the most fun musical instrument is the guitar because it is easy to learn, sounds good, and the guitar player looks cool. 

I want to play the guitar very well. 
>> OR: I hope to play the guitar superbly. 
>> OR: I hope to be a superb guitar player. 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
137050 I use the sentence words ½Å*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-05-09 3071
137049 homework ÀÌ*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-05-09 2358
137048 Is it important to learn slang or swearwords in English? Why or... À±*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-05-09 1
137047 What are the advantages and disadvantages of fast food? ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-09 2311
137046 2024.05.08 ³²*·Ê ¿Ï·á 2024-05-09 2896
137045 How do you judge food? By taste, appearance, smell, or feel? Can... ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-09 2426
137044 Lost trust ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-09 3018
137043 Dessert ÀÌ*³ë ¿Ï·á 2024-05-09 2187
137042 Should music lyrics be rated similar to the way movies are rated? ±è*¿í ¿Ï·á 2024-05-09 3220
137041 Homework Á¤*¼· ¿Ï·á 2024-05-09 2772
137040 Is money really the root of all evil? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-05-09 2236
137039 How do you keep yourself updated? ¸Í*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-08 2842
137038 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-08 1
137037 the most dangerous job ÃÖ*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-08 2843
137036 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-05-08 2
137035 annoy ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-08 1
137034 2024.05.08 ¼÷Á¦ ¾ç*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-05-08 2
137033 homework 05.08 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2024-05-08 2014
137032 What makes you angry? ÃÖ*¼º ¿Ï·á 2024-05-08 2293
137031 Do you look forward for a family reunion this year? Why or why... ½Å*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-05-08 3136

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04