¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

The way to relieve my stress

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¹Î
2024-07-03 2212

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

When I get stressed in the office, I do an exercise after work.
After exercising hard, I don't think about stressful things that happened in the office anymore.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Min!

I am glad that you made it here again on the composition page. 

Coping with stress is a lesson that they do not teach in school. Yet, it can impact our lives greatly if we do not know how to handle our stressful situations well. Hence, we need to aim for balance and boundary to know our limitations and strengths in dealing with challenges.

Congratulations for these two perfect sentences. They were well-written and composed.

See you later!

-T. Donna~

When I get stressed in the office, I do an exercise after work.
>> Correct!

After exercising hard, I don't think about stressful things that happened in the office anymore.
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
139791 Whose personality do you like best out of all the people in the... ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-09-09 2893
139790 Q) Do you think that it is more valuable to read a book than to... ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-09 4
139789 Short-term and long-term goals ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-09-09 2648
139788 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-09-09 2308
139787 overnight ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-09 2
139786 thankful ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-09 1
139785 Do you think it is more important to make a lot of money or to... ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-09-09 2512
139784 Let\'s We think about The Important of music. °í*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-09 2094
139783 homework ½É*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-09-09 2
139782 What is your favorite drink? Is there a special memory or story... ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-09-09 2442
139781 Aromatherapy ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-09 2696
139780 Would you rather have more time or more money? ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-09 2348
139779 Is it important to receive a salary increase yearly? Why or why... Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-09 1
139778 What do you hate spending money on? Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-09 0
139777 HOMEWORK È«*¼± ¿Ï·á 2024-09-09 1
139776 HOMEWORK È«*¼± ¿Ï·á 2024-09-09 1
139775 What kind of activity do you find invigorating? ±è*±â ¿Ï·á 2024-09-08 2395
139774 Homework ¾È*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-09-08 1
139773 homework ¹Ú*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2024-09-08 1
139772 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-09-08 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04