¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

The way to relieve my stress

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¹Î
2024-07-03 2307

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

When I get stressed in the office, I do an exercise after work.
After exercising hard, I don't think about stressful things that happened in the office anymore.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Min!

I am glad that you made it here again on the composition page. 

Coping with stress is a lesson that they do not teach in school. Yet, it can impact our lives greatly if we do not know how to handle our stressful situations well. Hence, we need to aim for balance and boundary to know our limitations and strengths in dealing with challenges.

Congratulations for these two perfect sentences. They were well-written and composed.

See you later!

-T. Donna~

When I get stressed in the office, I do an exercise after work.
>> Correct!

After exercising hard, I don't think about stressful things that happened in the office anymore.
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
137488 If you could change one thing in the world, what would it be? ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-05-29 2721
137487 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-29 2
137486 Mar 27th\'s homework ¾È*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-29 2159
137485 How does the popularity of K-pop and Korean fashion impact... ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-05-29 2481
137484 What are the nonliving things? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-05-29 3002
137483 Questions proposal ³ª*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-05-29 2578
137482 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-05-29 2912
137481 Home work for 05/27 Àå*ÈÞ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-29 5
137480 homework ÀÌ*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-05-29 3134
137479 Do you always give your honest opinion when asked for it? ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-29 3
137478 first impression ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-29 1
137477 Some animals shed their fur or make other kinds of mess. How can... ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-29 2463
137476 Describe a job you had before ¿À*¼Ò ¿Ï·á 2024-05-29 0
137475 What sort of gifts do people buy for the bridal couple? ¿À*¼Ò ¿Ï·á 2024-05-29 0
137474 What kind of clothes did the bride and groom wear? ¿À*¼Ò ¿Ï·á 2024-05-29 0
137473 Homework Àå*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-28 3515
137472 homework 05.28 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2024-05-28 2208
137471 What\'s the best birthday gift you\'ve ever received? Why do you... Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-28 3014
137470 HW ¾ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-05-28 2522
137469 What are the things you\'re good at? Write at least two and... Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-05-28 1760

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04