¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Some people think that it is fine for professional sportsmen and sportswomen to misbehave on or off

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*ÇÏ
2024-07-04 2244

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I strongly disagree with the statement that it is fine for professional sportsmen and sportswomen to misbehave on or off the field, as long as they are playing well. It is really sad that the national law is not equal to everyone. We can easily see that rich or people who are in the higher position is not sentenced properly if they are involved in the crime. Although, the law should be applied to all people, poor people have experienced unfair results compared to rich people. Famous sports players and celebrities such as actors, singers and comedians also be treated well than general people due to their social status. However, people want to be treated with same standard if there are some incidents. We want famous people to be a role model for general people and they must be clear regarding moral issues because their behavior can influence the attitudes and actions of their followers.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good afternoon Mr. Hwang~! You have done a good job here of creating a structured and flowing argument. You have given reasons for your opinions, which help successfully develop your concepts! Keep it up!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
I strongly disagree with the statement that it is fine for professional sportsmen and sportswomen to misbehave on or off the field, as long as they are playing well.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 It is really sad that the national law is not equal to everyone.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 We can easily see that rich or people who are in the higher position is not sentenced properly if they are involved in the crime. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Although, the law should be applied to all people, poor people have experienced unfair results compared to rich people.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 Famous sports players and celebrities such as actors, singers and comedians also be treated well than general people due to their social status. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
However, people want to be treated with the same standard if there are some incidents.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 We want famous people to be a role model for general people and they must be clear regarding moral issues because their behavior can influence the attitudes and actions of their followers.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
139687 If I could one were one color for the rest of my life? ÀÌ*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-04 2352
139686 What is the biggest change this world needs? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-09-04 2934
139685 Homework Àå*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-04 2
139684 homework ¹®*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-04 0
139683 If you could plan a dream trip to any place in the world right... ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-09-04 2090
139682 What kind of facilities or features do you think should be in... ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-04 2373
139681 Treat sick workers ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-04 1979
139680 Do you think holidays are important? Why? À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2024-09-04 0
139679 The positive side of \"Is a college education worth it?\" ¼Õ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-03 1823
139678 homework ¹Ú*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2024-09-03 1
139677 Home work ½Å*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2024-09-03 2461
139676 When should people avoid making promises? ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-03 1
139675 Choose one popular fairy tale and change its ending. Explain why... ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-03 0
139674 homework ½É*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-09-03 4
139673 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-03 1854
139672 What things did you often trade when you were a child? Who did... ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-03 2679
139671 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-03 2188
139670 Homework Àå*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-03 1
139669 Are you generally a positive person or a negative person? ¹Ú*½Ä ¿Ï·á 2024-09-03 1940
139668 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-09-03 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04