¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Some people think that it is fine for professional sportsmen and sportswomen to misbehave on or off

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*ÇÏ
2024-07-04 2637

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I strongly disagree with the statement that it is fine for professional sportsmen and sportswomen to misbehave on or off the field, as long as they are playing well. It is really sad that the national law is not equal to everyone. We can easily see that rich or people who are in the higher position is not sentenced properly if they are involved in the crime. Although, the law should be applied to all people, poor people have experienced unfair results compared to rich people. Famous sports players and celebrities such as actors, singers and comedians also be treated well than general people due to their social status. However, people want to be treated with same standard if there are some incidents. We want famous people to be a role model for general people and they must be clear regarding moral issues because their behavior can influence the attitudes and actions of their followers.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good afternoon Mr. Hwang~! You have done a good job here of creating a structured and flowing argument. You have given reasons for your opinions, which help successfully develop your concepts! Keep it up!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
I strongly disagree with the statement that it is fine for professional sportsmen and sportswomen to misbehave on or off the field, as long as they are playing well.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 It is really sad that the national law is not equal to everyone.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 We can easily see that rich or people who are in the higher position is not sentenced properly if they are involved in the crime. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Although, the law should be applied to all people, poor people have experienced unfair results compared to rich people.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 Famous sports players and celebrities such as actors, singers and comedians also be treated well than general people due to their social status. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
However, people want to be treated with the same standard if there are some incidents.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 We want famous people to be a role model for general people and they must be clear regarding moral issues because their behavior can influence the attitudes and actions of their followers.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
140425 How are BTS and GOD the same in a way? ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-10-15 0
140424 Have you ever bought something you later wished you hadn¡¯t?... ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-10-15 2208
140423 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-10-15 2277
140422 My best restaurant in Korea. ¼­*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-10-15 1932
140421 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-14 1
140420 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-14 1
140419 What kind of accommodation do you want to stay in when you... ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-14 2226
140418 What outdoor activities do you like to do during autumn? ½Å*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-10-14 2170
140417 My best mentor ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-14 2290
140416 Home work ½Å*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2024-10-14 1959
140415 Do you know some doctors who do two or more jobs in your country... Â÷*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-14 2729
140414 What other factors can you improve on with your research to... Â÷*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-14 2454
140413 10/11 home work Àå*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-10-14 2153
140412 homework ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-10-14 3193
140411 Have you ever bought something without planning it, and then... ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-14 1
140410 How does fashion influence the way people think about others? ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-10-14 2343
140409 Neighbors are the people who live near us. In your opinion, what... ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-10-14 2372
140408 HOMEWORK FOR 10.14.2024 DIRECTIONS: Use the following... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-10-14 5
140407 What did you do last weekend? What will you do this weekend? Do... ¼­*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-14 3
140406 How do you feel about having extra work on the side while... ±è*¸° ¿Ï·á 2024-10-14 2693

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04