¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ½É*Áø
2024-07-05 1958

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

if you go to the gym and ride a station bike regually You can lose weight in a short period of time.
Excessive dieting is not good for your health.
but ,we need to control our diet.

n the past, if you excel at one thing, you get a job. But not these days.


She is already excell at singing.
though, I don't stop trying.

I presently like the actor since I fell in love with him in the movie.

before i live in studio apartment,
i want to be live in there but now is not

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good evening, Mi Jin!

I'm sending you back your corrected essay. Thank you for sending it. Please go through the correction provided. Speak to you again next week! Good night! 


Cheers,
Jean~~




                                 


                     Make sentences using the words and expressions below, including the conjunctions given:


if you go to the gym and ride a station bike regually You can lose weight in a short period of time.
>> If you go to the gym and ride a stationary bike regularly, you can lose weight in a short period of time.

Excessive dieting is not good for your health.
>> CORRECT~~

but ,we need to control our diet.
>> But we still need to control our diet. 

n the past, if you excel at one thing, you get a job. But not these days.
>> In the past, you excelled at one thing, you could get a job, but not these days. 

She is already excell at singing.
>> She is already excellent at singing.
>> OR: She already excels at singing. 

though, I don't stop trying.
>> OR: Though I don't stop trying, I still can't achieve my goal. 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
138151 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-06-28 1859
138150 Q) What is your father¡¯s quality that you admire the most? ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-28 2
138149 Do you believe that people are more honest with friends or with... ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-06-28 1714
138148 What¡¯s your favorite song? Why do you like it? ±Ç*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-06-28 1
138147 Are there some things that you would like to change in the... ±Ç*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-06-28 1
138146 2024.06.27 ³²*·Ê ¿Ï·á 2024-06-28 2328
138145 Who are some famous figure skaters from history, and what made... ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-28 2806
138144 HOMEWORK Á¤*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-28 1601
138143 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-06-28 2956
138142 During summer vacation ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-06-28 2
138141 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-28 0
138140 How does jealousy affect people? Çö* ¿Ï·á 2024-06-27 3426
138139 What do you think is the best painting in the world? Why? Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-27 2075
138138 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-27 2
138137 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-06-27 0
138136 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-06-27 0
138135 What do you think is the most beautiful song in the world? Why? Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-06-27 1752
138134 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-06-27 0
138133 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-06-27 2
138132 2024.06.26 ³²*·Ê ¿Ï·á 2024-06-27 2004

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04