¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ½É*Áø
2024-07-05 2335

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

if you go to the gym and ride a station bike regually You can lose weight in a short period of time.
Excessive dieting is not good for your health.
but ,we need to control our diet.

n the past, if you excel at one thing, you get a job. But not these days.


She is already excell at singing.
though, I don't stop trying.

I presently like the actor since I fell in love with him in the movie.

before i live in studio apartment,
i want to be live in there but now is not

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good evening, Mi Jin!

I'm sending you back your corrected essay. Thank you for sending it. Please go through the correction provided. Speak to you again next week! Good night! 


Cheers,
Jean~~




                                 


                     Make sentences using the words and expressions below, including the conjunctions given:


if you go to the gym and ride a station bike regually You can lose weight in a short period of time.
>> If you go to the gym and ride a stationary bike regularly, you can lose weight in a short period of time.

Excessive dieting is not good for your health.
>> CORRECT~~

but ,we need to control our diet.
>> But we still need to control our diet. 

n the past, if you excel at one thing, you get a job. But not these days.
>> In the past, you excelled at one thing, you could get a job, but not these days. 

She is already excell at singing.
>> She is already excellent at singing.
>> OR: She already excels at singing. 

though, I don't stop trying.
>> OR: Though I don't stop trying, I still can't achieve my goal. 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
138127 insurance agent ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-27 1
138126 HOMEWORK ÁÖ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-06-27 2009
138125 homework ÀÌ*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-06-27 1861
138124 When is it important and helpful to tell the truth? ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-06-27 2294
138123 How does the development of high-performance fabrics and... ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-27 2765
138122 What historical sites did you visit and what did you learn? Ȳ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-06-27 2360
138121 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-06-27 1858
138120 25.Jun.2024 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-27 0
138119 After being through challenges ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-27 2738
138118 HOMEWORK Á¤*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-27 2092
138117 26.Jun.2024 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-27 0
138116 What do you spend most of your money on? Á¤*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-26 2915
138115 Homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-26 2085
138114 How important is it for you to get the vacant position at the... È£*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-06-26 1
138113 Is mental health more important than physical health? Çö* ¿Ï·á 2024-06-26 2087
138112 The Difficult thing about learning english ÀÌ*¼Ö ¿Ï·á 2024-06-26 2564
138111 °úÁ¦ ¹Ú*ºó ¿Ï·á 2024-06-26 2196
138110 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-06-26 0
138109 Aspect of fate ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-06-26 2181
138108 2024.06.26 ¾ç*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-06-26 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04