¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2024-07-10 2557

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Hi.
I had a peaceful day relatively.
I tried to teach Dr.J about laser treatment and botulinum toxin, but there were only a few chance to show him those procedures, nevertheless, he could do new treatments under my guidance.
To teach him, I let him do a vessel treatment laser on my face.
This laser treatment is basically painful, furthermore, he couldn't do that naturally, so I couldn't help but feel more serious pain.
Since there were not too many patients and no lunch conference, I could eat my lunch for a long time, and even I took a nap for about five minutes.
It was just like the hope about my happy future.
Dr.J looked so active and diligent.
Although I gave him a free time when he had no patient, he followed me and watched my care for patients.
Checking his chart after our work, I couldn't find any serious problem.
I know that I shouldn't believe anyone and any situation, but I feel so happy when I dream my free time in the future.
This is the key to remove my stress these days.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Dr. Kim!

I am glad that somehow, you took my advice. I hope that you got ample sleep and your day will be lighter until Saturday.

As you have detailed your Wednesday activity below, you were laser-focused in teaching all aspects of your treatment to Dr. J. Your work demands constant accurate practice thus, it is necessary to teach him exactly what he needs to do. More importantly, you have to remind him of the thing he should never do such as the mistakes made by Dr. MJ in the past. This way, you can eliminate future problems of complains and additional procedures.

The future is indeed looking bright as you share all that you can to your new doctors. Soon enough, you can take more vacation and days off. 

Of course, you have to be realistic as well. One day when you trained your doctors and they want to have their own clinic, you have to hire and train new ones and the possibility of experiencing the stress level you are encountering right now will repeat. Nevertheless, that day has not happened yet. Thus, keep teaching them well as their mentor.

As days go by, the new doctors will execute their procedures in the same way that you do. Your life will be so much easier in a couple of more weeks.

I am grateful for this composition. You must be beat again today, yet you managed to send a homework answer. As you can see, there are very good sentences composed of smooth transition and accurate grammar. For the rest of the comments, refer to the underscored words for your mastery. You did excellent!

See you again soon.

-T. Donna~

Hi.
>> Correct!

I had a peaceful day relatively.
>> Correct!

I tried to teach Dr.J about laser treatment and botulinum toxin, but there were only a few chance to show him those procedures, nevertheless, he could do new treatments under my guidance.
>> I tried to teach Dr.J about laser treatment and botulinum toxin, but there were only a few chances to show him those procedures, nevertheless, he could do new treatments under my guidance. Very good sentence!

To teach him, I let him do a vessel treatment laser on my face.
>> Correct!

This laser treatment is basically painful, furthermore, he couldn't do that naturally, so I couldn't help but feel more serious pain.
>> Correct! Very good sentence!

Since there were not too many patients and no lunch conference, I could eat my lunch for a long time, and even I took a nap for about five minutes.
>> Correct!

It was just like the hope about my happy future.
>> Correct!

Dr.J looked so active and diligent.
>> Correct!

Although I gave him a free time when he had no patient, he followed me and watched my care for patients.
>> Correct!

Checking his chart after our work, I couldn't find any serious problem.
>> Correct!

I know that I shouldn't believe anyone and any situation, but I feel so happy when I dream my free time in the future.
>> I know that I shouldn't believe anyone and any situation, but I feel so happy when I dream (about/of) my free time in the future.

This is the key to remove my stress these days.
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
139832 home work ½Å*¸° ¿Ï·á 2024-09-10 2601
139831 Home work ½Å*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2024-09-10 2336
139830 What¡¯s the secret to taking a good photograph? ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-09-10 2536
139829 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-10 2887
139828 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-10 2132
139827 My responsibility Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-10 2
139826 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-10 1
139825 What chores are your responsibility? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-10 3
139824 What do you think of books being made into movies? ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-10 1
139823 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-09-10 2562
139822 The best festival in Korea ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-09-10 2548
139821 Is it always good to participate in contest or competitions? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-09-10 2818
139820 What do you like the most about your family? Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-10 3047
139819 Feeling sad ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-09-10 3008
139818 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-09-10 2
139817 Homework : What is the most valuable item you\'ve ever spent... ÀÌ*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2024-09-10 2333
139816 A recent activity that I enjoyed ³ë*ö ¿Ï·á 2024-09-10 2741
139815 Do you want to travel to outer space? Why, or why not? ÀÌ*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-10 2547
139814 five years ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-10 1
139813 homework ½É*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-09-10 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04