¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ½É*Áø
2024-07-16 2518

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

There are many tall buildings in the city, but they continue to build, so they create a lot of bad air in the process.
Also, although the government's strict policy, many people throw away their trash without recycling. so it causes air pollution and the environment becomes dirty, whether city or countryside they ends up being damaged. we have to interested in environment

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Mi Jin!

I'm sending you back your revised composition. I apprecaite your sending it. Please go over the corrections and alternative expressions provided. Speak to you again tomorrow! Enjoy the rest of your day! 


Cheers,
Jean~~



                       
                                 

                                What damage do cities do to the countryside?



There are many tall buildings in the city, but they continue to build, so they create a lot of bad air in the process.
>> There are many tall buildings in the city, but they continue to build more, which results in bad air quality. 

Also, although the government's strict policy, many people throw away their trash without recycling. 
>>  Also, despite the government's strict policy, many people don't dispose of their trash properly and don't recycle. 

so it causes air pollution and the environment becomes dirty, whether city or countryside they ends up being damaged. 
>> This pollutes not only the air but also the land and water so whether it's the city or the countryside, both end up being damaged. 

we have to interested in environment
>> Therefore, we have to show interest and pay attention to the environment. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
140783 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-11-04 2028
140782 If the minimum wage is increased, companies may use more robots... ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-11-04 1799
140781 Do you think it¡¯s possible to live a life without ever breaking... ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-11-04 1716
140780 What is your favorite dish to eat at a buffet? ÀÓ*½Ç ¿Ï·á 2024-11-04 3514
140779 What do you usually eat for breakfast? Do you prepare it... ÀÓ*½Ç ¿Ï·á 2024-11-04 1851
140778 Would you rather fly in economy class or first class? Why? ÀÓ*½Ç ¿Ï·á 2024-11-04 1889
140777 01No2024_homework ±è*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2024-11-04 2706
140776 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-11-04 1805
140775 Page 44 ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-11-04 1796
140774 I want to flying cars as a mode of public transport. ¼­*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-11-04 0
140773 Homework ¿À*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-11-03 2
140772 homework ¹Ú*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2024-11-03 2
140771 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-11-03 1
140770 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-03 0
140769 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-03 1
140768 What do you think is the most beautiful name in the world?... Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-11-03 1819
140767 What was the best book or story you\'ve ever read? What was it... Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-11-03 2084
140766 What do you like to the most today? Why? Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-03 2001
140765 My homework ÀÌ*µµ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-03 1699
140764 Do you ever think that some music is just noise? ¹è*ºó ¿Ï·á 2024-11-03 1826

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04