¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ½É*Áø
2024-07-16 2135

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

There are many tall buildings in the city, but they continue to build, so they create a lot of bad air in the process.
Also, although the government's strict policy, many people throw away their trash without recycling. so it causes air pollution and the environment becomes dirty, whether city or countryside they ends up being damaged. we have to interested in environment

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Mi Jin!

I'm sending you back your revised composition. I apprecaite your sending it. Please go over the corrections and alternative expressions provided. Speak to you again tomorrow! Enjoy the rest of your day! 


Cheers,
Jean~~



                       
                                 

                                What damage do cities do to the countryside?



There are many tall buildings in the city, but they continue to build, so they create a lot of bad air in the process.
>> There are many tall buildings in the city, but they continue to build more, which results in bad air quality. 

Also, although the government's strict policy, many people throw away their trash without recycling. 
>>  Also, despite the government's strict policy, many people don't dispose of their trash properly and don't recycle. 

so it causes air pollution and the environment becomes dirty, whether city or countryside they ends up being damaged. 
>> This pollutes not only the air but also the land and water so whether it's the city or the countryside, both end up being damaged. 

we have to interested in environment
>> Therefore, we have to show interest and pay attention to the environment. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
139363 if you cook breakfast, do you cook for your whole family ?, or... ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-22 2148
139362 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-08-22 1951
139361 vaccination ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-22 1970
139360 Married couple\'s argument ÇÑ*ÀÚ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-22 6
139359 Imagine a day in the life of a character who has the power to... ½Å*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-08-21 1531
139358 About my dream house ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-08-21 1630
139357 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-08-21 1
139356 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-21 2191
139355 homework ½É*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-08-21 2
139354 How can reading benefit you? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-21 1774
139353 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-21 1
139352 How often do you have big family get-togethers? hat happens... ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-08-21 1575
139351 Do you like spending time at home? ±Ç*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-08-21 1610
139350 Do you sometimes compete with your friends? In what way? Çö* ¿Ï·á 2024-08-21 1719
139349 How can students become smart? ÃÖ*ÇÑ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-21 1728
139348 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-08-21 1833
139347 Can you share any interesting stories or memorable experiences... ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-08-21 1619
139346 schedule ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-21 1
139345 What are some healthy habits you try to maintain in your daily... ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-08-21 1529
139344 2024.08.21 ¾ç*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-08-21 3

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04