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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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서비스 입니다.

When do you feel happy the most?

작성자: 이*윤
2024-07-17 2287

회원님의 영작문

Overall, when I feel comfortable, I feel happiest. To be specific, there are many situations.
First, when I'm with people I like.
For example, I go somewhere with my family or my friends and have fun and remember memories in pictures.
Second, when I eat something delicious.
I think my delicious food is sweet, spicy, and greasy, so I can't eat it often because of the risk of gaining weight.
But when I eat delicious foods, it is better to eat with my favorite people.
Third, when I do what I like.
I think people will think that they are happy when they are interested and do fun things.
I like to watch various kinds of movies and dramas. Also, I like to do something while listening to music. Music makes me excited.
Finally, when I realize that I'm loved by others.
I don't think this is the situation I realize best, but I can be happy every time I realize it and I think this situation is the most important.
For example, I feel happy when I look at my family or friends who celebrate my B.D.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello, Yun!
Your composition was impressive. Thank you for consistently creating comprehensive ones. I genuinely appreciate the time and effort. ^_^
Chammy

Overall, when I feel comfortable, I feel happiest. To be specific, there are many situations.
First, when I'm with people I like.
>> Correct
For example, I go somewhere with my family or my friends and have fun and remember memories in pictures.
OR
>> For example, I travel somewhere with my family or friends to have fun and capture memories in photos.
Second, when I eat something delicious.
>> Correct
I think my delicious food is sweet, spicy, and greasy, so I can't eat it often because of the risk of gaining weight.
>> I think my delicious kind of food is sweet, spicy, and greasy, but I can't eat it often because of the risk of gaining weight.
But when I eat delicious foods, it is better to eat with my favorite people.
Third, when I do what I like.
I think people will think that they are happy when they are interested and do fun things.
OR
>> I believe that when people are interested and engaged in enjoyable activities, they will see themselves as happy.
I like to watch various kinds of movies and dramas. Also, I like to do something while listening to music. Music makes me excited.
Finally, when I realize that I'm loved by others.
I don't think this is the situation I realize best, but I can be happy every time I realize it and I think this situation is the most important.
OR
>>I don't think this is the best circumstance I've realized, but it makes me happy every time, and I believe it's the most important.
For example, I feel happy when I look at my family or friends who celebrate my B.D.
>> Correct
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139892 The positive side of \"Are smartphones ruining our world?\" 손*희 완료 2024-09-12 2760
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139888 Homework 김*숙 완료 2024-09-12 2586
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139883 Second homework in this week 최*연 완료 2024-09-12 2562
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첨삭이 가능하며,

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