¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Final remarks of \" Books are better than television

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¼Õ*Èñ
2024-07-23 1866

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I'm Hana presenting final remarks of "Books are better than television". I'm pleasant to present my own opinion.
First, why I think about that is on lots of example of genius who read vast books. He is Thomas Edison. I'm sure that you know about him. According to the Korea Educational Government Sites, Edison could become brilliant invention master by reading books. As you can see, if you read a lot of books, you can be great man like him.
Second, we can avoid to be a couch potato. By thesis, < A study on Styles and Determinants of Parental Televison Mediation in Korea> found that Children's television consumption and home learning were also found to be significant. Because growth of children is sensitive and important, it's necessary for children not to contact harmful things and it will be helpful to avoid a couch potato.
In conclusion, I finish my final remarks to present my opinion to use some reliable examples and thesis. Thank you for reading.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Hannah! This is such a great piece! I like that you provided specific examples and studies to back your opinion. I agree that reading books help the development of children, but so does technology. Let us just be aware or the negative effects of such. Let us talk more again soon. See you!
--Teacher Anji



I'm Hana presenting final remarks of "Books are better than television". 
>> I'm Hana presenting my final remarks of "Books are better than television".
I'm pleasant to present my own opinion.
>> It's my pleasure to present my own opinion.
First, why I think about that is on lots of example of genius who read vast books. 
>> The first reason why I think about that are the geniuses who read vast variety of books.
He is Thomas Edison. 
>> CORRECT
I'm sure that you know about him. 
>> CORRECT
According to the Korea Educational Government Sites, Edison could become brilliant invention master by reading books.
>> According to the Korean Educational Government Sites, Edison was able to become a brilliant invention master by reading books.
As you can see, if you read a lot of books, you can be great man like him.
>>  As you can see, if you read a lot of books, you can be a great man like him.
Second, we can avoid to be a couch potato. 
>> Second, we can avoid  becoming a couch potato. 
By thesis,  A study on Styles and Determinants of Parental Televison Mediation in Korea, found that Children's television consumption and home learning were also found to be significant. 
>> A thesis entitled A study on Styles and Determinants of Parental Television Mediation in Korea, found that children's television consumption and home learning were  found to be significant.
Because growth of children is sensitive and important, it's necessary for children not to contact harmful things and it will be helpful to avoid a couch potato.
>> Because the growth of children is sensitive and important, it's necessary for children not to make contact with harmful things and it will be helpful to avoid being a couch potato.
In conclusion, I finish my final remarks to present my opinion to use some reliable examples and thesis. Thank you for reading.
>> In conclusion, I end my remarks to present my opinion to use some reliable examples and thesis. Thank you for reading.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
137777 Hobbies reduce our stress and help us feel happy. À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-06-12 2193
137776 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-06-12 2319
137775 I\'m satisfied with my life now À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-06-12 2731
137774 My bad habits ÇÑ*ÀÚ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-12 15
137773 Modern communication tools ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-06-12 2636
137772 HOMEWORK DAY 2 ±è*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-12 3003
137771 Do you think it\'s smart to complain or get angry at someone who... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-12 2
137770 homework ÀÌ*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-06-12 2144
137769 What can you say about the current Ma Dong-seok movie titled... ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-12 2058
137768 Share your movie review of the most recent movie you have seen ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-12 2395
137767 What is the difference between friendship and \'kinship\' (blood... Ȳ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-06-12 2525
137766 What are some traditional party games in your country? ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-12 2748
137765 HOMEWORK Á¤*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-12 2871
137764 The important thing when buying something À±*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-06-12 2320
137763 No need for charity? ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-12 2720
137762 Do you think parents should encourage their kids to read books? ¿À*¼Ò ¿Ï·á 2024-06-12 0
137761 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-11 1
137760 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-06-11 1
137759 What are the dramas you wouldn\'t recommend others to watch? Why? ±è*±â ¿Ï·á 2024-06-11 3184
137758 2024.06.11 ³²*·Ê ¿Ï·á 2024-06-11 2227

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04