¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Final remarks of \" Books are better than television

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¼Õ*Èñ
2024-07-23 1949

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I'm Hana presenting final remarks of "Books are better than television". I'm pleasant to present my own opinion.
First, why I think about that is on lots of example of genius who read vast books. He is Thomas Edison. I'm sure that you know about him. According to the Korea Educational Government Sites, Edison could become brilliant invention master by reading books. As you can see, if you read a lot of books, you can be great man like him.
Second, we can avoid to be a couch potato. By thesis, < A study on Styles and Determinants of Parental Televison Mediation in Korea> found that Children's television consumption and home learning were also found to be significant. Because growth of children is sensitive and important, it's necessary for children not to contact harmful things and it will be helpful to avoid a couch potato.
In conclusion, I finish my final remarks to present my opinion to use some reliable examples and thesis. Thank you for reading.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Hannah! This is such a great piece! I like that you provided specific examples and studies to back your opinion. I agree that reading books help the development of children, but so does technology. Let us just be aware or the negative effects of such. Let us talk more again soon. See you!
--Teacher Anji



I'm Hana presenting final remarks of "Books are better than television". 
>> I'm Hana presenting my final remarks of "Books are better than television".
I'm pleasant to present my own opinion.
>> It's my pleasure to present my own opinion.
First, why I think about that is on lots of example of genius who read vast books. 
>> The first reason why I think about that are the geniuses who read vast variety of books.
He is Thomas Edison. 
>> CORRECT
I'm sure that you know about him. 
>> CORRECT
According to the Korea Educational Government Sites, Edison could become brilliant invention master by reading books.
>> According to the Korean Educational Government Sites, Edison was able to become a brilliant invention master by reading books.
As you can see, if you read a lot of books, you can be great man like him.
>>  As you can see, if you read a lot of books, you can be a great man like him.
Second, we can avoid to be a couch potato. 
>> Second, we can avoid  becoming a couch potato. 
By thesis,  A study on Styles and Determinants of Parental Televison Mediation in Korea, found that Children's television consumption and home learning were also found to be significant. 
>> A thesis entitled A study on Styles and Determinants of Parental Television Mediation in Korea, found that children's television consumption and home learning were  found to be significant.
Because growth of children is sensitive and important, it's necessary for children not to contact harmful things and it will be helpful to avoid a couch potato.
>> Because the growth of children is sensitive and important, it's necessary for children not to make contact with harmful things and it will be helpful to avoid being a couch potato.
In conclusion, I finish my final remarks to present my opinion to use some reliable examples and thesis. Thank you for reading.
>> In conclusion, I end my remarks to present my opinion to use some reliable examples and thesis. Thank you for reading.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
137218 homework ÀÌ*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-05-16 2725
137217 HOMEWORK FOR 05.15.2024 WRITING TASK: Are there any sentimental... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-05-16 5
137216 which actor would you like to change places with and why ? ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-16 3353
137215 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-05-16 2888
137214 Can you imagine a life without the internet? How will you... ±è*¿í ¿Ï·á 2024-05-16 2408
137213 homework ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-16 3440
137212 How do holidays and vacations impact your overall well-being? ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-16 2618
137211 Is a college education worth it? Are you Pro or Con? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-15 3074
137210 Do you ever have trouble with choices and making decisions? Give... Ȳ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-05-15 3056
137209 Magazines or newpaper ¿ì*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-05-15 5
137208 Homework Àå*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-15 3682
137207 Do you love yourself? Is it important to love yourself? ±è*¼ø ¿Ï·á 2024-05-15 4288
137206 Could you live in another country for the rest of your life? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-05-15 1
137205 homework 05.15 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2024-05-15 2147
137204 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-05-15 2
137203 What do you need to do to train for and run a marathon? ¿À*¼Ø ¿Ï·á 2024-05-15 0
137202 A high-paying job ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-05-15 2635
137201 What\'s your favorite toy? ÃÖ*¼º ¿Ï·á 2024-05-15 2165
137200 What job do you think is cool? ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-05-15 1995
137199 Homework ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-15 1937

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04