무료 레벨테스트 받고 강사평가 남기면 1,OOO원 쿠폰 즉시 적립!

혹시 사이트에선 찾지 못한 궁금한 점이 있으세요?
남겨주신 이메일을 통해 답변 드리겠습니다.

문의하신 내용이 문자로 발송되오니
연락처를 남겨주세요.
업무시간 월~금 오전9시~오후6시
(점심시간 낮12시~오후1시)

영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

The negative side of \" Are video games good for you? \"

작성자: 손*희
2024-07-25 2797

회원님의 영작문

Do you play video games? If you play, How often do you play the game? We can fall out game addiction if we play video games too much. Then, How parents can stop their children's game addiction? Today, I'll talk about this subject.
First, parents can install an app, "Family Link". If parents install it, they can share not only check usage time of their children's phone but also their location. I recommend that use this application in consultation with their children.
But more important thing that parents should do before they performance my first opinion is mediation with children. Children don't want to lose their right to play video games freely. So, parents should have mediation with their children first. For example, if children want to play video games 1 hours, parents can suggest them; if they play video games honestly, parents give them some snacks.
By using this ways, parents can stop their children's game addiction. Thank you for watching.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

HI, Hannah! Great job today! I like your opinion on this matter. Keep up the great work. Let's discuss more in the class. 
-Teacher Anji


Do you play video games? If you play, How often do you play the game? 
>> Do you play video games? If you do, how often do you play games? 
We can fall out game addiction if we play video games too much. 
>> We can fall into game addiction if we play video games too much. 
Then, How parents can stop their children's game addiction? 
>> How can parents stop their children's game addiction? 
Today, I'll talk about this subject.
>> CORRECT
First, parents can install an app, "Family Link". 
>> CORRECT
If parents install it, they can share not only check usage time of their children's phone but also their location. 
>> If parents install it, they can not only check their children's phone usage time  but also their location.
I recommend that use this application in consultation with their children.
>> I recommend that they give consultation to their children to use this application.
But more important thing that parents should do before they performance my first opinion is mediation with children. 
>> But the more important thing that parents should do before they perform, in my first opinion, is mediation with their children. 
Children don't want to lose their right to play video games freely. 
>> Children don't want to lose their right to play video games freely. 
So, parents should have mediation with their children first. 
>> So, parents should have mediation with their children first. 
For example, if children want to play video games 1 hours, parents can suggest them; if they play video games honestly, parents give them some snacks.
>> For example, if the children want to play video games for an hour, parents can suggest them; if they play video games honestly, parents can give them some snacks.
By using this ways, parents can stop their children's game addiction. Thank you for watching.
>> In this way, parents can stop their children's game addiction. Thank you for watching.
번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
141082 Homework 양*영 완료 2024-11-20 2202
141081 What’s the most unexpected lesson you’ve learned from your job? 오*영 완료 2024-11-20 2155
141080 Would you rather watch a movie or read a book? Why? 이*윤 완료 2024-11-20 2341
141079 In your opinion, what does \"TIME IS NOW\" mean? 서*아 완료 2024-11-20 2
141078 What makes a particular song or artist special to you? 윤*원 완료 2024-11-20 0
141077 HOOMEWORK 이*숙 완료 2024-11-20 2303
141076 What will you do if you book a room hotel that is non-cancelable... 권*지 완료 2024-11-20 2
141075 What\'s the difference between hoarding and collecting? 권*지 완료 2024-11-20 5
141074 What is the best part of your job? 이*범 완료 2024-11-20 6
141073 What makes a particular song or artist special to you? 배*빈 완료 2024-11-20 2718
141072 You mentioned that you do not like \"used items\", what about if... 권*지 완료 2024-11-20 3
141071 What do you think about people who collect weird things like... 권*지 완료 2024-11-20 4
141070 There are no young people in rural areas. 이*형 완료 2024-11-20 2090
141069 Homeworks 심*진 완료 2024-11-20 2
141068 Homework 오*현 완료 2024-11-19 1
141067 Home work 신*라 완료 2024-11-19 2105
141066 Homework 김*우 완료 2024-11-19 4
141065 What are your thoughts on people who swim across big bodies of... 차*혁 완료 2024-11-19 2177
141064 How did you begin studying English? 차*진 완료 2024-11-19 2083
141063 What makes a particular song or artist special to you? 김*진 완료 2024-11-19 2588

HOW TO USE IT?

[마이페이지 > 수업 내용 보기 > 학습 캘린더 > 영작교정 버튼 클릭]

수업 횟수만큼 영작교정 게시판이 생성되며,
지난 날짜에도 게시 할 수 있습니다.

주5회 수업 : 월 20회 이용 가능
주3회 수업 : 월 12회 이용 가능
주2회 수업 : 월 08회 이용 가능
01
교정 내용은 최대 1,000byte까지 올릴 수 있습니다.

첨부 파일은 원활한 첨삭을 위한 참고자료로 사용될 뿐,
파일에 대한 첨삭은 불가능 합니다.

업로드 가능한 첨부 파일은 최대 2mb까지이며,
첨부 할 수 있는 파일 형식은 다음과 같습니다.

문서 - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
이미지 - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
이용이 어려운 점 양해 부탁 드립니다.
04

와이즈에듀케이션아이(주) 사이트명: 파워잉글리쉬 대표이사 전상현
사업자등록번호: 217-81-44736 통신판매신고번호: 2014-서울도봉-0233호
서울본사: 서울시 노원구 한글비석로 245 두타빌 B동 7층 713호
대표번호 1688-8672 개인정보관리 책임자: 안희영 [powerenglish@pweng.net]