¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

The positive side on \" Is drinking milk healthy for humans? \"

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¼Õ*Èñ
2024-08-13 2043

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I'm Hana, and I'd like to present my opinion on the topic, "Is drinking milk healthy for humans?" Do you like milk? Actually, milk is known for health and tasty drink to many people. However, there are many heated debates about drinking milk. I think drinking milk is healthy for humans.
First, milk is good for growth of human's height. Milk contains lots of calcium and calcium is also good nutrients for growth of bones. According to the , milk contains nearly all the basic nutrients that a growing child needs. Calcium is one of them.
Second, milk is good for relieving depression. Do you know milk contains not only basic nutrients but also vitamin D? According to public site of Korean hospital, Vitamin D helps relieving depression. If you drink milk, you can have some effect that relieve depression.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Hana! Thank you for the great opinion. As you have mentioned, as long as it is done in moderation, milk can be really healthy. The benefits outweigh the risks. Let us talk more again soon. See you!
--Teacher Anji


I'm Hana, and I'd like to present my opinion on the topic, "Is drinking milk healthy for humans?" 
I'm Hana, and I'd like to present my opinion on the topic, "Is drinking milk healthy for humans?"
Do you like milk?
CORRECT
Actually, milk is known for health and tasty drink to many people. 
Actually, milk is known as a healthy and tasty drink to many people.
However, there are many heated debates about drinking milk.
However, there are many heated debates about drinking milk.
 I think drinking milk is healthy for humans.
I believe drinking milk is healthy for humans.
First, milk is good for growth of human's height. 
First, milk is good for the growth of a person's height.
Milk contains lots of calcium and calcium is also good nutrients for growth of bones. 
Milk contains a lot of calcium, which is also an important nutrient for bone growth.
According to the , milk contains nearly all the basic nutrients that a growing child needs. Calcium is one of them.
According to research, milk contains nearly all the basic nutrients that a growing child needs, and calcium is one of them.
Second, milk is good for relieving depression.
Second, milk is good for relieving depression.
Do you know milk contains not only basic nutrients but also vitamin D?
Did you know that milk contains not only basic nutrients but also vitamin D?
According to public site of Korean hospital, Vitamin D helps relieving depression.
According to a public site of a Korean hospital, vitamin D helps relieve depression.
If you drink milk, you can have some effect that relieve depression.
If you drink milk, you may experience some relief from depression.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
138012 How important is salary to you when considering a job offer? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-06-22 2369
138011 Would you let a stranger borrow something from you? Why? Why not? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-22 1
138010 What is your least favorite game? Why? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-22 1920
138009 What influenced your choice of job? Á¤*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-22 2546
138008 Essay homework ÀÌ*´Ã ¿Ï·á 2024-06-21 2302
138007 Homework Àå*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-21 2953
138006 Do you enjoy meeting new people? Çö* ¿Ï·á 2024-06-21 2265
138005 What are some similarities and differences between your... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-21 2628
138004 Pronouncing vowels ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-06-21 2295
138003 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-21 2182
138002 Traveling with my husband ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-21 2525
138001 Public Transportation Crisis; Bus and Tube ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-06-21 3639
138000 How to rent in UK; Viewing and Referencing ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-06-21 3736
137999 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-06-21 2483
137998 My dream of the future °í*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-21 2897
137997 Although parents are responsible for raising a child, outside... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-21 3078
137996 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-21 1
137995 How do you encourage others to follow good habits or practices? ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-06-21 1846
137994 homework ÀÌ*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-06-21 1863
137993 HOMEWORK ÁÖ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-06-21 2493

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04