¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Second homework in this week

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*¿¬
2024-09-12 1830

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I often frown between my eyebrows when I concentrate and study.
I try to relax my eyes and smile because it creates wrinkles between my eyebrows and looks like an angry person.
People who don't know me well sometimes mistake me for being in a bad mood when they see it. It may make people uncomfortable. However, it happens unconsciously and when I become conscious, I try to fix it.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Seo Yeon!
Thank you for submitting your composition! I hope you enjoy the long break ahead :) 
Chammy
I often frown between my eyebrows when I concentrate and study.
OR
>> When I am concentrating on my studies, I often scowl between my eyebrows.
I try to relax my eyes and smile because it creates wrinkles between my eyebrows and looks like an angry person.
OR
>>I try to relax my eyes and smile to avoid creating wrinkles between my eyebrows, which can make me appear angry.
People who don't know me well sometimes mistake me for being in a bad mood when they see it.
 It may make people uncomfortable. However, it happens unconsciously and when I become conscious, I try to fix it.
>>Correct
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
140439 home work Àå*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-10-15 1982
140438 How often do you eat out? Who do you usually eat out with? Where... ¼­*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-15 3
140437 Relaxing ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-15 2367
140436 Q) Do you like exercising outdoors? ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-15 2
140435 Do you always care for strangers? Why or why not? ÇÑ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-15 1824
140434 HOMEWORK FOR 09.30.2024 Writing task: Are you an introvert or an... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-10-15 2
140433 Have you ever dreamt about something that later came true? ±è*¸° ¿Ï·á 2024-10-15 1957
140432 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-10-15 2508
140431 Homework Àå*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-15 1814
140430 HOMEWORK FOR 09.27.2024 WRITING TASK: What can you do to prevent... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-10-15 4
140429 well ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-15 1
140428 HOMEWORK FOR 09.23.2024 WRITING TASK: What was the most... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-10-15 6
140427 HOMEWORK FOR 10.09.2024 WRITING TASK: What are the benefits of... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-10-15 3
140426 singing ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-15 1
140425 How are BTS and GOD the same in a way? ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-10-15 0
140424 Have you ever bought something you later wished you hadn¡¯t?... ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-10-15 1719
140423 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-10-15 1765
140422 My best restaurant in Korea. ¼­*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-10-15 1551
140421 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-14 1
140420 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-14 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04