¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

The positive side of \"Are smartphones ruining our world?\"

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¼Õ*Èñ
2024-09-12 2569

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Hello, I'm Hana, and I'd like to present my opinion on the topic, "Are smartphones ruining our world?". I think smartphones are ruining our world. First, a literacy of people is decreasing by using smartphones. As you know, recent students like short-contents such Shorts of Reels. As students continue to watch short-form content on their smartphones, the amount of reading they do is decreasing. Therefore, students' literacy are also decreasing now. E-books exist as an alternative, but they are very bad for students' eye health.
Second, people's dependence on smartphones is worsening. It is also connected with smartphone addiction, but I want to argue that the need for smartphones has gone beyond the norm. Among the AI ​​systems installed in smartphones, those related to food, clothing, and shelter are helpful to human life. However, AI technologies that provide knowledge, such as ChatGPT, are being abused over time. For example, Some student copy what ChatGPT says and do their homework

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Hana! Thank you for these wonderful insights again. Let's discuss it more in the class. See you.
--Teacher Anji


Hello, I'm Hana, and I'd like to present my opinion on the topic, "Are smartphones ruining our world?".
>> CORRECT
I think smartphones are ruining our world. 
>> CORRECT
First, a literacy of people is decreasing by using smartphones.
>>  First, people's literary is decreasing due to the use of smartphones. 
As you know, recent students like short-contents such Shorts of Reels.
>> As you know, recent students prefer short content, such as Shorts or Reels.
As students continue to watch short-form content on their smartphones, the amount of reading they do is decreasing. 
>> CORRECT
Therefore, students' literacy are also decreasing now.
>> Therefore, students' literacy is also decreasing now.
E-books exist as an alternative, but they are very bad for students' eye health.
>> CORRECT
Second, people's dependence on smartphones is worsening. It is also connected with smartphone addiction, but I want to argue that the need for smartphones has gone beyond the norm. 
>> CORRECT
Among the AI technology systems installed in smartphones, those related to food, clothing, and shelter are helpful to human life. 
>> CORRECT
However, AI technologies that provide knowledge, such as ChatGPT, are being abused over time.
>> CORRECT
For example, Some student copy what ChatGPT says and do their homework.
>> For example, some students copy what ChatGPT says and do their homework.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
141673 If you had to live off convenience store food for a day, what... ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-12-26 1930
141672 Homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-26 1665
141671 Homework & Question ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-26 1381
141670 Write about this topic, \"How Family Traditions Make Christmas... ³ë*ö ¿Ï·á 2024-12-26 1737
141669 Her handicraft ÀÓ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-26 1588
141668 What are you worried about? ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-26 1919
141667 Give 5 positive statements to about you. ¼Û*ÀÚ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-26 3
141666 Do you prefer long trips or short trips? What are the benefits... ¼­*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-25 1
141665 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-12-25 1
141664 dance ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-25 1
141663 performing ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-25 1
141662 change ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-25 1
141661 If you had a million dollars, would you still work? ÀÌ*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2024-12-25 2
141660 If you could work from anywhere in the world for a year, where... ÀÌ*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2024-12-25 2
141659 Which is a better choice, travelling alone or travelling with... ¼Õ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-24 1567
141658 Have you ever complained about the food or service in a... ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-12-24 2
141657 Write about Christmas days plans. Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-24 1589
141656 Do you think dreams have any meaning? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-24 2031
141655 Homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-12-24 1471
141654 Review ±è*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-12-24 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04