¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

The negative side of \"Are humans too dependent on computers?\"

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¼Õ*Èñ
2024-09-19 2447

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Hello, I'm Hana, and I'd like to present my opinion on the topic, "Are humans too dependent on computers?". I think humans are not too dependent on computers.
First, computers make our lives much easier. Have you ever worked with documents? If you have, can you directly calculate or memorize and execute the office work you have been doing in Excel or Word? I'm sure you won't. Like this, computers are convenient for our lives because they process tasks dozens of times faster than the human brain.
Second, the statement that 'people are too dependent on computers' is an anachronistic one. People rely more on their cell phones than on computers, and computers are now used only for work such as working on documents or PPTs.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Hana! Good job today! You didn't only present your ideas well, but also did it in perfect grammar and spelling, Keep up the great work. See you!
--Teacher Anji


Hello, I'm Hana, and I'd like to present my opinion on the topic, "Are humans too dependent on computers?". 
>> CORRECT
I think humans are not too dependent on computers.
>> CORRECT
First, computers make our lives much easier. 
>> CORRECT
Have you ever worked with documents? 
>> CORRECT
If you have, can you directly calculate or memorize and execute the office work you have been doing in Excel or Word? I'm sure you won't.
>> CORRECT
 Like this, computers are convenient for our lives because they process tasks dozens of times faster than the human brain.
>> CORRECT
Second, the statement that 'people are too dependent on computers' is an anachronistic one. 
>> CORRECT
People rely more on their cell phones than on computers, and computers are now used only for work such as working on documents or PPTs.
>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
141156 Home work ½Å*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2024-11-25 1558
141155 Do you like going to crowded places? Why or why not? ÀÓ*½Ç ¿Ï·á 2024-11-25 1688
141154 What will you do if the room rates of the hotel you used to go... ÀÓ*½Ç ¿Ï·á 2024-11-25 1573
141153 11/20 homework ±Ç*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-11-25 1748
141152 How often do you go shopping for clothes? Do you buy new clothes... ¿À*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-11-25 1723
141151 ^^ ÀÓ*½Ç ¿Ï·á 2024-11-25 1974
141150 How can being brave help you in life? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-25 2
141149 What to you think of clouds? ±è*¼Ò ¿Ï·á 2024-11-25 1407
141148 Have you heard the expression, ¡°be kind, for everyone you meet... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-25 1443
141147 What¡¯s the longest phone call you¡¯ve ever had? What was it... ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-11-25 1813
141146 Is it possible to overcome our greatest fear? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-11-25 1746
141145 In what ways can we disconnect from our phones to truly... ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-11-25 1767
141144 homework ÀÌ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-25 0
141143 22nov2024- homework ±è*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2024-11-25 1731
141142 What is the meaning of your name? ±è*¸° ¿Ï·á 2024-11-25 1805
141141 Homework ³ë*ö ¿Ï·á 2024-11-25 2455
141140 HOMEWORK: What makes you happy? ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-11-25 0
141139 MA question answer ÀÌ*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-25 1854
141138 Korean is so easy for every person. ¼­*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-11-25 2
141137 One hand washes the other ÀÓ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-24 1750

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04