¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

The negative side of \"Are humans too dependent on computers?\"

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¼Õ*Èñ
2024-09-19 2178

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Hello, I'm Hana, and I'd like to present my opinion on the topic, "Are humans too dependent on computers?". I think humans are not too dependent on computers.
First, computers make our lives much easier. Have you ever worked with documents? If you have, can you directly calculate or memorize and execute the office work you have been doing in Excel or Word? I'm sure you won't. Like this, computers are convenient for our lives because they process tasks dozens of times faster than the human brain.
Second, the statement that 'people are too dependent on computers' is an anachronistic one. People rely more on their cell phones than on computers, and computers are now used only for work such as working on documents or PPTs.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Hana! Good job today! You didn't only present your ideas well, but also did it in perfect grammar and spelling, Keep up the great work. See you!
--Teacher Anji


Hello, I'm Hana, and I'd like to present my opinion on the topic, "Are humans too dependent on computers?". 
>> CORRECT
I think humans are not too dependent on computers.
>> CORRECT
First, computers make our lives much easier. 
>> CORRECT
Have you ever worked with documents? 
>> CORRECT
If you have, can you directly calculate or memorize and execute the office work you have been doing in Excel or Word? I'm sure you won't.
>> CORRECT
 Like this, computers are convenient for our lives because they process tasks dozens of times faster than the human brain.
>> CORRECT
Second, the statement that 'people are too dependent on computers' is an anachronistic one. 
>> CORRECT
People rely more on their cell phones than on computers, and computers are now used only for work such as working on documents or PPTs.
>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
138892 flower snake ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-01 2
138891 How has the concept of \"hoesik\" evolved over time in Korean... ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-08-01 1914
138890 31.July.2024 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-01 3
138889 Yes ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-08-01 2081
138888 What are some popular Asian dishes you have tried? Can you... ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-01 2442
138887 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-08-01 1988
138886 What vegetables are common in your country? ¿À*¼Ò ¿Ï·á 2024-08-01 2
138885 2024.07.31 ³²*·Ê ¿Ï·á 2024-08-01 1898
138884 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-31 1
138883 The greatest rock band in Korea ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-07-31 2286
138882 Homework : ¸Í*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-31 1899
138881 Do you think men enjoy sports more than women? Çö* ¿Ï·á 2024-07-31 2203
138880 Major influende to having my recent interests ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-07-31 1609
138879 Explain the saying \"Time is Gold. Çö* ¿Ï·á 2024-07-31 1948
138878 Explain the saying \"Time is Gold.\" ½Å*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-07-31 1855
138877 homework ½É*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-07-31 2
138876 Have you ever had a dream that seemed impossible? Àå*±¸ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-31 1713
138875 Do you think men enjoy sports more than women? Àå*±¸ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-31 1793
138874 What is your greatest fear in life? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-07-31 2005
138873 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-31 2236

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04